why?! why are all of u telling me the same things?!! to change the everything..to do everything i can. u see for urself. u think i don't want the unit to be like ncc air?! u think i don't want?! u tell me to gain their respect! u tell me how. u say don't scold, don't pump. i say nicely..who will hear?! besides..i have nvr even scolded them, let alone pump them lar! i say nicely..they treat like i talking to air like that! u say ur ppl ...call u by ur nicknames and all. they respect u..but how?! u all must have done something to make them respect u. u tell me to talk to them outside of training, do they listen?! u oso know wad their replies are wad. i told u ler! u hear it urself. i tell u i'm lost..i oso need time to get back to my track. i'm not a super person! i need time too. u ask me to plan. wad do u have for me to plan?! plan how i die?! and also..me alone putting in effort will NEVER be enough! is everybody need to do it together! i tell u i tried..u say trying will nvr be enough and whatever we do is shit to THEM. so how?! u tell me can?! since u say u've succeeded in gaining their respect, u tell me.


i'm just so stuck. u said i sit there and do nothing. u know how i feel anot? what more do u want from me. i look at them, i feel like vomit blood. u so pro..u try want? i'm not like arrowing u or wad lar..but then why not stand at OUR point, and try to see how we are doing. we are different from u all okkay. see how many ppl u got, see how many we got? WHAT IS RESPECT?! u can tell me. YOU. nice try didi. i don't know what is ur point. i don't get ur point. what do u want from me?? to improve it? or to ci ji me? to make me feel useless? or wad?! i don't know. yeah..i know..time is short..u tell me there is no space and time for anymore TRYING..but there will always be the first time..and its TRYING.