yew tee-d with xinyu......... don't ask me why.. coz i don't know why too. hmmmmmmmm..talked abt things........things and more things. and i found out she like to bluff me.. how evil is that. even more evil than me, the suspense killer. xDD poor qianhui. lalalalala.


today discussed CUGC proposal..i hear they gonna change it to 3rd week..which means..................ALL OF US CAN GO. weeeee..so happy la.... hehe. during the discussion at the library..saw the kahyong(nccland sergeant) and his stead. then qj and dinie keep making fun of them ..so evil. then discuss finish.....edna and me lunched at 202. we guo er ren shi jie.. weeee..cool man. hahaha..long time nvr liao. then talked abt some stuffs. haish. okkay..i got nothing more to say. =))


i realised that i wrote the above 2 paragraphs in the reverse order. hmmm.
and last thing........i need my motivation for MID YEAR. now even that picture don't help. =((

your sacrifices..i'm not worth it..you know it...very well..that i would very much rather be the one sacrificing for you... you know it.


why...why is the world full of hatred and suspense? with numerous misunderstandings in between? make each and everyone of us live daily in suspense..where each is unwillingly to speak of.. in the sunset..on that day....i sit in the foyer..playing the piano..and that song we used to love..i knew you would come..to me and our little song. yes..you walked towards us..but not to find us..but to find someone else. i was afraid..to let my eyes meet yours. finally..painstakingly..i lift my head..from our song..to take a little glance. i thought you saw me..but no..i was just a sheet of paper..your cold and numbing stare..showed how emotionless that stare was.. at that moment..i knew my heart had shattered..with little pieces lying around..i stopped playing our song....to pick up the pieces that you left me. 934546 pieces ...it spells your name. do you get it now? how much you'd meant to me. i'll remember you..and our little song..all that we shared in the past..had been kept in a little secret bottle...deep within my heart........even deeper than how much my heart had shattered...in this bottle..i'll remember the times we shared....where we would talk.......you could comfort me like no one else. you are more than just a fragile memory..its not gonna be something of the past..i won't let it be. its in that secret bottle..i'm waiting to open the bottle cap someday..you decide when.


if only............again.

her naggings again........ its never ending. how i wish i can just shut my ears...


nana's post...exactly what i feel....things which have an optimistic start will not have a good ending....i wonder............will a bad start result in a good end?? and why.....do we regret after everything is over? yet no one cherishes the present? and a few years from now..we will think of wad happened..and the cycle repeats itself once again... i wonder..how fragile or weak a friendship is........ or how strong it can be? a so called strong friendship..can just break into pieces...just by some words said..or by some action.. but yet..a weak friendship can prove to last a lifetime..maybe..being just normal friends won't result in this happening. i feel..i have never really hated anyone..coz my hate..don't last for usually more than 2 days..... i wonder how some ppl can hate others for a lifetime...won't it be good if all hatred were removed? or maybe...a world void of all feelings would do everyone good...


and ppl change drastically...so much that we can no longer recognise them..some ppl change for the better..others for the worse.....under others' influence..they can change so much....where did they go?? the THEM i used to know......... just where did u all go? why do you have to leave me behind..bring me along........i promise i won't be a burden..i'll just tagg behind.......i won't bug you all too...just don't leave me behind. why......ppl tell me ALL THE SAME THINGS.. don't think too much.........why ahh..i really think too much meh?> maybe..frequent headaches unknown to anyone except myself...the white light when i close my eyes.......how i wish......this is all a nightmare.......but no..i close my eyes..and open them again. i'm still where i am.......maybe.....i expect too much..from myself..from others. or mabe even not. mid yr exams in just a few days....how will i do? xinyu reminded me.......we will have to give them our result slip after MYE..i can't afford to not do well..i don't wanna be like last yr...i try.....i must... other than MYE there's CCA. love my cca alot..finding ways and means to improve it.....why can't it be like last time? where we don't get teased by NCC air..and land. how hurting to see ppl insulting RC.. but well. everything haad changed...our attitude...towards cca..cadets say they forced to join.....why can't they had join out of their own accord? then they will give their best...........nvm. its not up to me to say anything..i wish for the best in everything.........................but its not possible..


does screaming really help??

i saw you again....turning my back to you..i hid my face again.. maybe i'm just to scared to face the outcome. i still think we will just pretend that we saw nothing. should i just give in?

i can't go for CUGC!! how upsetting. argh...didi got OIC of camp..hao you ben shi wor..jiayous didi..then joy got AIC!! weeee..cool man. then RSM... is of course MY DEAR EDNA!!! congrats girl!! i know you can do it one!! then company A and B i/cs are calvin and jinzhi. platoon i/cs are sam and szeann. DINIE, QINJIE and ME are NOT going!!! ahhhhhhhhhh!!! last yr missed it already..this year..missing it again!!!!!!! i wanna go......=((((((


thunder and lightning..with heavy rain..i'm glad that you're okkay.

i wanna make you smile again..i tried..but apparently..its not funny. nvm.. how many days more till you can talk to me again. i wanna tell you..i rmb it all..everything we did together....the memories too many to forget. but to you....it might be nothing at all. just a few moments of your life is counted as nothing at all..yet to me... its the world.. i don't know why.


can't i show some concern for you? won't you accept it? i wonder why....i'm considered as naggy..when i just ask you to take care......maybe..its more of noise pollution to you...you'd rather not hear it...because it means nothing at all to you..i will accept that.. sorry for the disturbance..i know wad to do now.......

thanks. thanks those who had been there for me..to help me through this terribly difficult period.


someone left me, with a broken promise. i don't blame that person..maybe i din make myself clear.


and that another so wonderful person..who left me with my mouth agap. letting me cry all my heart out for her. how hurting that is. even as i close my eyes...the tears just flowed out.


p.s thanks louisa. thanks for ur concern. =)

today...a friday without trng..so weird..mohan and anantha were like giving faces during ss. damn damn funny..hahaha..then is like mrs anantha asked a qns..then calvin ang replied YEAH BABY!! hahaha and mohan was trying to surpress his laughter!! is like calvin is used to saying that la..so natural ler..but for that sentence..he had to spend time after sch with anantha..hahaha..poor thing..then after sch..went 226 eat. ate chicken rice..then went back school. ncc land ppl having trng..then we so bad..keep making them laugh...hahaha. so nice..the 2/2 feeling again..even though no trng..very weird..but then..spend time with my beloved friends..love them all SO MUCH!


then going home that time...pei edna sit 88..go hougang ..hahahaha ..but so fun..thanks edna..for chatting with me on the bus..i don't know how u stand me either..hahaha =DD then..waited at the busstop for 854..i missed 2 bus lo..i wasn't concentrating..so yeah..finally got on one..then so crowded..i stand..held the railings... and SLEEP! lol. SLEEP WHILE STANDING!! pro right? aiya..dunno why these days all so sleepy..and ahh..NCC LAND ppl cannot go CUGC!! i can't go either..hopefully can postpone to later date..then we ALL can go. haha


why? why do i have to turn and walk in another direction when i see u? because i don't want to walk past you..and u pretend u did not see me..and i pretend i did not see you. its just so hard..and tough. isit because of the rash things i said? as i said..its just RASH words..are those words stronger than our friendship in the past? or maybe wad we shared in the past..wasn't even a friendship at all...and how long will u ignore me for? forever? i wonder..will i say something first..or will u be the one who talks.


treasuring everything by my side now. . . . . . wonder whether everyone will start to leave me one by one. will things be the same 5 years down the road? everyone is asking the same qns...

swensen-ed with edna, yh, julian and sam ystd.. cool man..we took a LONG LONG time to decide where we wanna go..always so weird one.. decided on swensens first..then huh..alot of ppl dowan go, then decide go 202..then after that say 202 very sian..then me and sam say go buddy hoagies(near my house mah)..then sam say so close my house..then in the end i very pekchek..hahaha then say..EVERYBODY LET'S GO J8!! hahah..damn funny la..then bus-ed there. took quite some time to decide what to eat. see we are so INDECISIVE. took some pics.. but haven't upload into comp..so too bad..next time bah (aiya..everytime i say next time post..will nvr get to post one) =)) then...i ate the seafood chowder..sam ate calamari rings..enda julian and yh order ice cream..and me and sam share topless 5..ahaha..everytime we eat topless 5..will be reminded of top 5 post!! hahah..damn funny. then eat until super full. and yh and julian was there LAMING!! their words all super hilarious one!!! esp yh! he she bu de..spent 7 bucks on ice cream..then he keep finding things to bring home from there..HAHA. then eat finish...went with sam to buy her pens and stationary..her things always missing onee. buy finish ler..sam got mummy and daddy pic up. haha..mrt-ed home alone!! =((


thinking abt frienship things again...so sian!! how i wish..i don't think so much.

council interview. woooo. got the chance to go in with qj and dinie..can notice the ncc way of replying qns..like MY DEAR QINJIE!! hahahahaha..super hilarious can! love them all man..qinjie found all sorts of ways to create something than can 'zhen' the cadets. all the weird weird ways ...no wonder..all come from glenn one!! as in..he try on glenn before!! hahahha..damn damn funny.


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how to deal with rebellious cadets? seriously..i don't know. qj and dinie said.......give them the TORTURE and hard way..if really cannot..then tell them nicely. but i said the other way leh..in the end oso tio. not really that bad la...but had to scold the sir kenneth..how to scold..when the situation is just a scenario?? how to scold..when u are trembling? and shivering?? wahhh..dinie tio very cham..poor chap. his sergeant keep do him..haha..in the end..they say say say..we ans ans ans..until they got nth to ask ler..then at that time..mdm tong came to scold..wahhh..nice lor..the sirs and madms..kena by mdm tong..and the cadets..being cadets...all zao ( run away) haha..we INTENDED to be GOOD cadets...but then..too late ler..8 already...and the next day got physics test..so went home ..kena by *** ...hate it la..not like i dunno how to manage my time! i oso know test very impt..exam coming..wahh shit la. but nvm..one ear in the other ear out. RRRAAAA...MUST REN!!!


and p.s she's still ignoring me..YOU..do u know how i feel now?

why?! why are all of u telling me the same things?!! to change the everything..to do everything i can. u see for urself. u think i don't want the unit to be like ncc air?! u think i don't want?! u tell me to gain their respect! u tell me how. u say don't scold, don't pump. i say nicely..who will hear?! besides..i have nvr even scolded them, let alone pump them lar! i say nicely..they treat like i talking to air like that! u say ur ppl ...call u by ur nicknames and all. they respect u..but how?! u all must have done something to make them respect u. u tell me to talk to them outside of training, do they listen?! u oso know wad their replies are wad. i told u ler! u hear it urself. i tell u i'm lost..i oso need time to get back to my track. i'm not a super person! i need time too. u ask me to plan. wad do u have for me to plan?! plan how i die?! and also..me alone putting in effort will NEVER be enough! is everybody need to do it together! i tell u i tried..u say trying will nvr be enough and whatever we do is shit to THEM. so how?! u tell me can?! since u say u've succeeded in gaining their respect, u tell me.


i'm just so stuck. u said i sit there and do nothing. u know how i feel anot? what more do u want from me. i look at them, i feel like vomit blood. u so pro..u try want? i'm not like arrowing u or wad lar..but then why not stand at OUR point, and try to see how we are doing. we are different from u all okkay. see how many ppl u got, see how many we got? WHAT IS RESPECT?! u can tell me. YOU. nice try didi. i don't know what is ur point. i don't get ur point. what do u want from me?? to improve it? or to ci ji me? to make me feel useless? or wad?! i don't know. yeah..i know..time is short..u tell me there is no space and time for anymore TRYING..but there will always be the first time..and its TRYING.

why?? there i go again. why?? have things really reached this stage that we can't even say hi when we see each other?? when last time..u would xi ji me..and tickle me..the times that i would laugh at the ambush. but now...its gone. really gone. why? i saw u today..i felt like going over..and talk to u..but i've no courage, i'm a coward. i was trembling..i don't even dare to look at you. do you even remember who i am?? because i do remember who you are. you are someone important to me, i don't wish for just some words of anger and rashness to spoil it all. do you know??

cried like no one's business. why? because i'm useless. why can't i control..trng was trng. changing parade(CP) as usual..actually i see no point in CP..even though cp is a tradition passed on in every UG. maybe it trains urgency...but then..change in and out...aiyo..then footdrills. commands..tried to perfect it..but in the end..still same mistakes..not dowan to change leh..but then...somehow..can't. i don't know why too. life is just abt REGRET REGRET and REGRET. in the end..cadets became madms..madms became cadets. WE , yes WE could not take it..so weak right? just because our madms call us madms. wow..yeah..u all are right i suppose..we can't be crying just because we are at our wit's end, can't cry because we are disappointed, maybe not in front of u guys, and our juniors. well..what will redcross become in the future? we want as much as any other person, cadet, madm, nco, UG to have a good unit, good cadets, win competitions, make u all proud. of course we want. i just want to know something..have we ever made u all feel proud of us? did u feel happy when u saw us in the marching contingent..to know that ur cadets were good enough to be in the marching contingent..for parades. trying to make u all proud of us..but we don't know how. or maybe i don't know.


i made 2 promises today. one to sam, another to a guides YA. the promise to sam, and to myself. written in black and white, and we both know that we will keep it together. the promise to the ya, to be stronger, to do my upmost best, for the unit, for them, for her. to make them proud, to be a good leader. i know i can't, but she said i can. ppl believe in me, but i can't believe in myself. i've made too many mistakes, i can't pick up from where i left off. but she asked me to re-start. i've disappointed too many ppl, broke too many promises and cried too many times. i shall restart, never give up and do things that will make them proud.

the most unforgettable trng..a trng..which might change my mindset forever. i'm really sorry. i apologise. i nvr meant it that way. how u r feeling now..i feel many times worse.maybe it nvr occurred to me that wad i said was counted as rebutting. but now i know. i apologise. i will change..it won't be an empty promise anymore. i wanna say..i cried..because i was hurt by the words u all said. i'm trying..very hard to control. but the thought that this will be our last trng together..and the fact that on the next trng long time from now...i would feel so lost without u all. but maybe ..maybe no one knows. well..i knew from the start i won't be a gd oic..nor will u all win our bet. i know the qualities lacking in me..but some of these..are so hard to change over such a short period of time.. i dunno how to face u guys anymore..seriously. i don't know how..and what to do. we mustn't be so indecisive..nor should we be so weak. we cannot cry just because we feel disappointed..or at our wit's end. but must we be void of all feelings? sometimes..i hate my face. because of my face..it has caused some misunderstandings. i hate it..wad is shown on my face may not be how i really feel. but i guess..no one will ever know.......whatever. i'm past caring abt this already. maybe now..post don't matter anymore..its just how well the unit will do. i want as much as all of u to win footdrill comp, csa, eua, CAC, fa comp. who will don't want?? maybe sometimes putting in effort alone will not work.........or maybe i have not put in my all.

u broke ur little promise. i knew u wouldn't wait.

saturday. its enrolement. wet and hot as well.. whatever. i've learnt to endure heat as well as rain.. so did edna. again..its both of us. rmb the things we used to do together. yeah. thinking back.....time flies like a plane..maybe even faster. parade ended early coz of rain. thenme and edna were stinking wet coz we in the contingent..then the rest keep like smelling us?? i super conscious one..hahas..then after that go j8 change..with edna, yf, juliana, weilin, xinyu, vivien and chongxi. ate..then took neoprints. the first one. yeah. see..its gonna june soon. and i'm gonna say the same things again. shoots. wad do u think will happen once we take over? what will we get? will our unit prosper? will we do a good job? so that other UGs dun make fun of us? i guess rank no longer matters to me..i just want no more attitudes, no more ppl who pon trng, no more conflicts, no more fights, no more cries.. always go out of point. damns.


back to the topic..we took neoprints..with words like WE LOVE REDCROSS! i really do. okkay nvm..then pei-ed yf go buy her slippers. then went home..reached home ..very very tired..and smelly. finally..sunday a day to rest..and study. mye is coming..wad am i doing?

friday. another memorable day out with laopo. happy happy. studied chem. supposedly go library..but ended up in mac..coz library closed on ph. sian. then talked abt some ppl. who backstabbed us. who misplaced out trust..talking abt it even hurts. wad business isit of urs even if i like a person? i really think u think too much u know..coz i don't like anyone now. u get it? and dun be so busybody..to tell that person whom u think i like. its not even the truth. i can't be bothered with u sometimes. why are u so stubborn? to think sam and me trusted u so much. this is how u treat me..and how are u treating her now?? u tell me? no better right? u're good..i must say..like sam says.
she is the producer of all shows. one story for you, one story for me, one story for the world. its the truth..wad u tell me might not be wad u tell others. wad u tell others might not be wad u tell me. i'm just so bewildered by ur actions. fine..i shall just stop here. and btw..i had a great day today laopo. it had been very long before i can feel this free again. on the way back home from thee bus stop which i sent sam to, i walked past the stadium..and its empty roads..and an open field. there was a small bb court..there..i think i saw a familiar face. she was with her friends..i haven't seen her since last year. its just about half a year..and now.we walk past each other like we've never met. how sad can that be? oh well..had a great day today..at least i learnt something..and found out some truths. thanks. once again.

hmmmm. i think i haven't touched blogger for abt a week ler. no time. this might be a lengthy post..those who's eyes are weaker..eh..maybe no need read..hahahaha jkjk.


wednesday. stayed back for meeting i think ..for last minute preparation for commissioning thee next day. was super happy that day. so scared she knocked into the pillar lar. must take care..nothing must happen to you okkay. or i think i'll just die. even though i know u're very strong de. discuss abt our games and all..grouping for the next day. and also..ran about the school..in search for madm wenjia and sir izuan. lalala..got qns to ask them. then later..went home for piano. i think that's all for wednesday. so standard. then the next day............
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the holy big day. with a big hole. nah..joking only. lessons as per normal. then at 1pm, when everyone left to the hall..there was confussion. don't know whether must go sing sch song or can do our preparation. then we all decided go gallery, wait for like 30 mins. then mr sim say all ug ppl can go. then coz time very tight, we were cursing him all the way..even 30 minutes wasted was like 3 hours. hmmmmm.. then got everyone's help..to shift tables and chairs..the guys went to makan first..while edna, sam, yf, qj, me and a few other ppl..decided to go work first. ban the chairs..cleared the classroom..and started the preparation for games. really thank everyone for helping out..then at around 2..we gathered all ug ppl..sec 1s and 2s.. then seperate them into their groups. super big cock-up..coz not enough time..sir izuan said 2.15 everyone go hall for briefing. but then..up till 2.14 we not yet tell everyone their groups. sir izuan said if we not up in hall at 2.15..i die. oh gosh. but after that he say forget the time limit..ask everyone put bags in classroom first. then cock up again..i shout and shout and shout..i think i scared some ppl. hahah..scolded some ppl...yeah. sorry man..feel guilty ...i know u all hate me..but i can't help it. then started whacko in classroom. before moving everyone to the field. then at field..we started our telematch..we had to cancel out 2 games eh..not enough time. played tug-of-war as the first game..got everyone organised with sze ann and zhan hong's help..haha..they gave them water break. then coming back..they walk...then zhanhong was like 'WALK WALK SOMEMORE!!' hahaha..then me and edna started laughing like shit. den i scolded them..say u think this is ur grandmother house ahh..strolling. wadever. then started tug of war..then npcc de rope break. me and sze ann were like.................!@#$%^& their rope so easy break one. sheeh. is like a human fist thick leh. see.UG ppl are so strong one. but we couldn't bother abt this until after the games. so we continued on..played the water ballons..edna had a hard time preparing..thanks girl!! =DD splashed water and all..sec 3s had a nice bonding time. =)) then after that..time's up ler..so fast lar..one moment i was screaming my lungs out for the splitting of groups..then next moment was to as kthem to go get changed into their uniform. so we sec 3s cleared up..xin bu zai yan..or at least me..i was thinking the whole time if the sec 1s and 2s enjoyed it anot..i don't think so bah ..haish..anything..at least we tried..i think the telematch was not so cocked up. luckily. or else....my head will roll. then edna and i go change..take our time change..then wear beret everything hao hao ler..then they say no need wear beret. so sad..then take out..me and edna went up to gallery coz cannot sit.then saw madm wenjia..her rank...............SENIOR WARRANT OFFICER!!! very nice. she wear ler look very nice. hahaha. then coz ms tan and ms chan went for beach cleaning, no one to do the flag..madm wenjia go do. then wait for all to unveil their ug's flag..then finally..the UG COUNCIL FLAG!! then after that was speeches by mr tan our principal cum guest of honour, followed by mr siva teacher in charge of ug council, sir izuan student head and then madm aurina guides CL . then there was the slideshow..sorry to say..the first part of the slide show pics is all i send one..i din expect madm jocelyn to put all. so i hereby clear all the doubts as to why so many of u guys pics are up there. sorry. then in the slide show..me and edna cried..haha...reminds me of all the memories..happy and sad ones. of last pop..and ndp. so soon..next friday's gonna be the last trng. i really hopee it can be a memorable one. something for us to remember for life. then after that..ceremony over ler..the emcees sam and sir tsewei did a great job!! yeah. then sir izuan gathered the sec 3s..to clear up the hall..the field and move the table and chairs. to their original positions. ncc air ppl went to makan..hey we din eat breakfast, lunch eh..then is like we din touch any of the refreshments. hahaha wasted that 3 bucks. hahaha ..jkjk..then me and sze ann was like...........runnning all over the sch..to clear the ropes..and settle the broken rope stuff. looked around for np ppl. they were like..u have to talk to this this this person..then we go find..find ler..then this this this person say go look for that that that person..wahh..then we were like -.- in the end the main person is mr siva. so we found him..and he just said its okkay. how comee the cadets so strong. and that's it. we were shocked. terribly..hahaha. finally settled that..then had to go back find the rest. then the sir say must change into full u..we chiong like shit..in the end wear finish ler...they say can go home. so
!@#$%^& ..but yeah i guess..its okkay to wear full uniform..haha..took some lovely pics. yeah..then sam waited for me to change , in the toilet..really thanks yeah..evne though i know one of the reasons u sat in there until i came out is because u no strength to move..but still thanks..haha and take care yea..u are so sick..do rmb to drink lots of water. then helped sam out...and then we left..sam had her mummy pick her..so i fang xin. then i climbed out of the fence..sat up there and wobbled for a few minutes before deciding to come down. ncc air ppl were like..wahh she so qiang..hahah damn funny lar. then ate at central mac with xinyu, yifang and juliana. i think i said something wrong..one day..10 years down the road..will we walk past each other like we nvr knew each other b4? yf started to cry.. oh damn..and so did i. shucks. i should just be stronger. we talked abt pop..and stepping down. and xinyu said we should leave those words for june. sian!! i'm so darn gonna make her cry. and cry like a BABY! hahaha..wait..before i do that..i think i will be the baby first. hahaha..lol ..after dinner..my legs were aching like they are abt to break lidat. so damn pain and suan. then mrt-ed home..with them..so tiring..but its finally over. a good day to rmb..with so many happennings.


p.s i love my rabbit. lol

communication break-down.

sometimes i wonder. wad i do and all..sometimes u all should just tell me. instead of leading me into a guessing game. like guessing the name of rumplestiltskin. it would take almost forever. i'm sick and tired of all this. i guess..if u want me to change, then tell me wad i should do. somehow, sometimes..i feel like sitting down, on that chair, and look up into the sky. see the birds flying freely. and sometimes, in the bus. i see parents carrying their baby. the child stares at me with big,huge eyes. i wish one day i'll be like them again. being so innocent. just clinging on to ur parents arms..hoping they'll nvr let go. aye..wadever. things won't go our way..or rather they'll nvr. i guess we'll live each day..just day by day. or maybe its just me. i just wanna run away. to somewhere else. having selfish thoughts, i wanna bring everyone dear to me along.


and sometimes, i see others..why are those who are more courageous and daring always the ones who will get hit. they are the ones who will speak up for the rest, yet they are always being scolded. why is life so unfair? and why will the society treat u as an outcast for some stuff that u do . for example, why can't girls like girls, and boys like boys. why must it be girl like boy, and boy like girl. i really wonder. the society will then treat u as abnormal. saying u gay or les. some ppl find it hard to come to terms with it..if their peers are like that. but why. sometimes its just not wad u ppl think it is. can't it be just pure care and concern together with respect and not having dirty things in ur mind. why can't some ppl just think straight?! haish. i'm just so bewildered by facts of life. wadever...................and i'm still waiting.


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for wad? for ppl to tag. hahaha -.-

i just realised my blog's like .....almost dead. with no one tagging. hmmm..demoralising der lo..nvm. thursday..TREE PLANTING DAY. okkay. mrt-ed to dobhy ghaut with yf..got the photos safely into hq. then back to tpy..we were like practically lost. in between myriads of blocks of flats. i wonder how we got out. the streets seemed endless then..like how u would feel when u are trapped in a huge maze. yet..the feeling, undescribable..of being lost..somehow nothing matters anymore..u just walk aimlessly..following where ur instincts bring u to.


and finally, we reached..lorong 5 block 31. heh. i can rmb it..hahaha..waited for the others to reach by bus. then we all went tree planting.. hahahaha. plastic bags were provided to tie on our feet. and we looked like penguins. -.- then continued with digging. okkay..digging was kinda worse than giving birth. hmmm. we had fun..even though leg very suan. and ground very muddy. saw alot of ka chua..hahha. cockroach lar.. then scream and shout..walao. then after planting like a few potted plants..we cleared up, and washed the spades. then madms played with water. hahaha..makes me wonder if they really sec 4 or wad. hahah..lol.then after home-ed with them. talking abt stuff..apparently, there's alot to talk between us and madms. hmm. okkay..went home, legs like jelly. which will wobble uncontrollably. hahahah. chatted on phone with madm weilin..wahh..contradicting..hahah..some things , i don't understand. neither does she. i will support everyone de..i can vouch for that. not just because i like her, i treat her better. some ppl know that, others don't.


friday, reached school much earlier. prepared uniform and last minute polished boots. and finally..we got to fall in..after so much troubles and problems about this uniform thing, and ...someone from guides fainted. woo..she rolled down the steps i think. madm weilin and madm kexin rushed for the stretcher and first aid kit. wooo..i think rc is really the tian shi. hahaha..then madm xinyu saluted the flag. shouted the commands. wrong command..she paiseh..madm..no need paiseh wan..coz everyone make mistakes..the most impt thing is to learn from them. then lessons..and lessons and lessons. mohan lesson is like...........i dunno wad shit. nvm. coz i was practically sleeping. then had oral..mr xu, mrs xu's husband. -.- he not bad lar.actually okkay lar..he not bad..then after that chiong go trng..changed then went to find our squad. okkay..please. this is making me die. i see oso wanna vomit blood. i dunno hhow to face them in future. how to train them. not that they are bad, just that they are like a piece of white paper. with no contents yet. its is our duty to write some good things on that paper, and not let the bad ones take up the blank space. so i guess i'll keep trying..to be patient. and we'll do it together. after trng ..packed up, changed into class tee and skirt. then went for choir concert. wow..was like laughing at one part..where there's this song about food wan..then qh said she heard wad fan shu, then yf said she heard lor mai kai..wad the hell lar..then i started laughing, and edna oso..we laugh till stomach pain pain..hahahaha..it was super damn funny. and our amkss choir was NICE NICE NICE! love it man. their voices so good..saw erzi, xx and arifin. hahaha..they look good in shirt and tie. hahahaha..then after concert jiu left ler..coz sat family day.


morning of saturday, woke up at 6. then wore class tee and fbt..hahah..then went to sch..was almost the first orangew person to be there. then wait for everyone come. then bus-ed to sentosa. so sad..my rabbit din go...........=((((((((((( but then..sabo-ed ppl ...esp WINSTON LEE. hahaha i got everyone to help. then we had much difficulty in pushing him into water. hahaha..finally when everyone put in all their might, winston lee went into the water. walao..damn hard to push man.ahahahha. then went to find seniors..to push them into water. haha had personal time with madm weilin, to talk. or maybe it was just walk. just walk, yet it felt free. even though we din talk much, but can gan shou dao each others presence. hmmmmm..sounds wrong, yet right in some way. then played water. with madm xinyu fleonna and yilin. they very bad. all so jian! pretend go bully madm xinyu..i go help..in the end all pull me down..i almost dry ler lor. lalallala. hahah..wadever. fun anyway. then saw madm cara with mingxuan. they oso swimming..we decided to swim too. so we from the bridge go into water. funfunfun. then go find 4/5 ..played with them. so scared they accidentally injure ppl by pulling them. 4/5 ppl all so small size. i very scared anyone of them will get injured. then played. somehow. i did not spend much time with 3/3 de ppl..but spent time with sam alone too. talked alot. i felt as though my presence was not needed in 3/3..that's why my disappearance. to find someone who appreaciate my presence. hmm..then after that..sam sam and me lunch-ed at northpoint..yoshinoya. beef with veg! my regular. hahaha..then went back my house. biology. and enzymes. then sam had her mummy pick her up.. and saturday's over.


times passes so fast. how i wish time could stop. when u smile at me.