its been so long since you ever said you guys said you cared...i have tis feeling that there is an invisible wall blocking in the middle...evertime i wanna say some tings, i dun dare..coz maybe you all will tink i m extra...but isit true?...i m not sure..how i wish i am still the one important person that you all need there in your life...maybe from the start it was all wrong...it wasn't meant to be like tis...the way you claimed you reallie hoped that i was with you...maybe it was reallie all a big big joke..i was never part of your life at all...i hope i am wrong but somehow i have tis weird feeling that we are no longer one big big family...and you din ever tink back of our happy past...n happy memories...the times we spent together and everyting..can we ever turn bac the clock?..i dun dare put my hopes high coz i noe you r starting to go further n further away frm me...can i attach a string to you and pull you back so that you will stay by me forever?...i can't coz i noe that tis is unfair to you...you once said that you will not let me leave your side but wad abt now?...i am a thousand miles away frm you...i wanna be so near you that we will be stuck together forever and you will nvr leave me again...

i need you guys...every single one of you r important to me...pls dun ever leave me unattended again...promise me you will stay by my side forever.

these few daes have been veri disheartening for me...i dunno y...but i feel there's smth not right...isit my problem or urs?...eu everytime dun sae den how i noe wad eu r feeling...haiyah...maybe wad she said ish right...eu guys reallie feel tt i'm extra...i feel i m always left out...i juz wan a lil' attention frm eu guys...can't eu all juz grant me tt?...i try tu be concerned but does it work?...things still remain the same...maybe like wad she said again...i shd juz gib up...since eu dowan me..wadever i do wun make eu guys ever accept me...i m juz..juz heartbroken...but at least i noe she's still dere for me...wen no one else bothers...

i reallie wan ur love n concern...juz a lil' fraction of it...pls?..juz spare a lil' time for me..n juz tell me tt eu will be dere for me always...i will b satisfied...
-lurv redx-

btw...we squeezed through the small hole beneath the back gate...zhanhong, jianming, kai sheng, eunice, vanessa, edna and me...so fun...hope e camera din catch us doing it...hahas...

i wanna comment on todae de dance class( CAP )...the dance room was locked so we had tu dance in hall...den juz as we dancing happily n all...the student councillors came...walao...lyk spoil our mood lidat...dey were preparing their stuff for the SCI...den ish lyk we on stage dancing n the student councillors were lyk the audience...it wouldn't be so bad if we din noe anyone...anyway...i can finally do the dance step le...so fun...den we wen tu eat lunch...den i drank bubble tea...budden no pearls...so sad...den wait n wait den finally go for the SCI....it was okae...saw the exco dance...so funny lar...den the meiyan n randy say speech...den ish lyk they speak so funnyly...randy i can understand coz he ish not local...but meiyan lei...dunno lar...n i dun care aso...den saw joanne n wen jia dance...aiyah joanne ish pro so i got nth tu say...den meiyan lei...ish lyk acting lor..so fake...n extra aso...

after SCI we had tu go trng...at 1st din wanna go de lei...budden tink again...should nt always pon or not will become habit de lor...so we go n change...den we do footdrills...ish the sec 3s command...aiyah footdrills so so sianx...walao...den coz gt other CCA grps den catherine dey all shout command we cannot hear...den after footdrills we did PT ...aiyo...so slack...den the jialin ish lyk open defiance lor...den dunno y the mdms neber scold...maybe dey stepping down le den dowan sec 1s hab bad impression of dem...haha..sec 1s ish veri lucky...den recre dey play basketball...den some ppl dowanna play..including me...haha den we sit by the side tok crap n say lame jokes...so fun haha...den finally play finish den dismissed...todae trng reallie veri veri slack...i tink coz maybe no wen jia dey all...i tink if wj come ah...trng will be tough lor...haha...

yay tmr no syf...so lucky...6 weeks no syf...i tink by the time we go bac rite...cant catch up le...coz the trng ish reallie veri tough lor...the footdrills timing so fast...dey wanna die ah...dey wan i aso dowan lor.....haii...life ish boring...people pls tok tu me more...n make my life more interesting...
-lurv redx-

this whole week was sucky...

thursday
so depressed...was reallie sad wen eu din tok tu me...i felt so helpless...did i go n fan eu until eu reallie couldn't stand me anymore?...but apparently it wasn't lyk wad i tot...so on thurs...i juz cr***(i m sensitive tu the word)...i'm sorrie i made eu cry too...eu shd have told me earlier...i tot eu din care oready...anyway..din eat lunch on thurs coz was so depressed...din have the mood too...although sam van n yf wen tu eat...i was lying on the table n trying tu sleep...hopefully forgeting y i was so sad...but no...everytime i raised my head i looked in ur direction...eu were so alone...n tt made me feel even more sadd...finally i got over the whole ting...n eu said sorrie...tt was unexpected...i shd b the one saying sorrie in actual fact...but juz as i tot the whole ting was over...i neglected sam's feelings...i'm sorrie...but anyway...everyone was fine after a while...sam left in a hurry...i juz wanna tell sam...i love eu my dear...n sorrie for neglecting eu...let the lao gong gib lao po a kiss..muackss...okae?...

friday
dance n drama was veri veri fun...dramaa class i acted as sam's jian fu(lover)..while van ish sam's husband...was veri fun..den dance..danced many diff types of dances...including latin...was veri funny...den i became the CD gal...coz i was standing at the bac...so everytime mr low say stop..i gotto rush tu stop the player...walao...even sam c liao aso laugh...den after sch wen tu c mr V tan...abt dnt project...i learnt tt i m being selected for the junior show..which ish unexpected coz i tot my artefact tu be stupid...den somemore gotto touch up the artefact n den present it in front of the sch...arghh...i m not tt brave okae...den decided tu help paint the class n pon RC trng...coz there was not enough ppl helping tu paint...actually we wanted tu go trng at 4 plus de...den decided tu inform the mdms earlier...budden hu noes...they gave us an earful n even spoke tu ms low...walao...gd lar...n ms low's fault lar..we helping tu paint class and as our form teacher shouldnt eu help us?...wad's more tis is painting for ur class lor...come on lar...den lots of tings happen..n it was raining...den after i paint a while den my hands veri dirty...den decided tu pei vanessa go toilet..coz she stomach ache...budden as i walked out of the class room...surprise surprise...wen jia n jocelyn were outside...so extra...den felt so bad abt pang seiing edna..sorrie my dear...i din do it on purpose...den i dunch noe wad the mdms sae tu edna but i tink the say yi ding muz go for trng...so stupid lar...den glenn veri funny...keep telling ms low they need more ppl...sort of excusing us frm trng...budden ms low din care abt him le...so she tell us tu pack up n leave...so sad lor...i m disappointed at ms low de behaviour...den wen for trng ish onli sit there tok tok...sian lar...we could have well taken the time tu paint the class...den the sec 3s all din come except catherine...so guai one...haha..den we were dismissed at abt 645 lidat...den gang hao met beijia n glenn dey all so walk tu bus stop together...reach home late n felt tired...so ate den wen tu sleep...syf trng tmr...
-lurv redx-