i don't know why. i didn't dare to look at u at all today.somehow felt so strange..and far apart. den came the hate, i don't know why. but its just that feeling..when u're there, i feel like running away. so i did. further away from you to some place else. i could not sort out my thinking. u are a nice person. but somehow..only in the past could i communicate to you. now, i feel like even standing beside u is a torture.


just came back from a night out alone. thought of wad happened and all. you did alot for me, u were there to comfort me when i cried, to be my teacher and guider when i was in desperate need of help, listening ears to me when i needed to complain. so much u did for me. i suddenly feel that feeling back again. at graduation assembly, i gave u a gift. and a hug. and my tears. then u sent me a long msg. in which i thoroughly read it through again and again. wondering if u would take back ur words. after wad i did. hmmm..yep..i sent u a msg..asking u a question. and yeah..we talked......just like the way we used to in the past. it was some misunderstanding?? i guess we really have not talked for a long time. wad u told me today....made me feel so guilty. u said u felt sad when i appeared so scared of u..i don't know if thats the truth..but somehow..u think i'm not sad too? i'm sad..but i can't show it. i mustn't. so i controlled. and yeah. no one knows.


i thought the person i admired most and respected most was ******. but somehow when this thing happened, u're the one. did i feel so sad when ****** did not really show me wad i had expected. i felt sad, but not as sad as now. not as heartbroken as now. u merely said one sentence..but the impact of that sentence..was so great it made me feel hurt! just one sentence..which show how much ur friendship really meant. now i understand. did i take ur friendship for granted? when u were ther for me, i only kept thinking of ******..but now .. i want back our friendship. i don't know why. i'm wondering..do u really mean that much to me? that i could sit there for hours thinking abt wad u said..and crying at the same time. i'm really surprised..u are the special person that can make me feel hurt by a sentence meant to be just a light joke. okkay..i really hope we can be the greatest friends...like wad u told me in that msg. thanks really alot..for telling me some truths..to help me realise these facts. i guess there will no longer be any running aways? maybe.....i'm not sure.