friday.

school was fine..nothing much happened.. actually..is becoz i cna't really rmb wad happened..-.-
and even if i rmb..i don't wanna say it..coz............its depressing. so yupp..after sch..qh went to tutor clara. pro de okkay. =)) then edna yf and me were sitting and slacking. yf and me wanted go makan. but qh had to teach clara..so decided to takeaway from mac..hahaha..fed many ppl with that small pack of fries..hee. then coz madms had oral..asked us to conduct trng first..then i gonggong go ask where madm joanne if she's coming..coz if she's coming jiu no need start footdrill ler. zhi jie start first aid..yah..turns out that she actually forgot..but then i remind-ed her. haish. so yupp..she comes...and when she reach..madm xinyu finished her oral already. okkay..so actually they had something for us to do..before sir elvin came..but then..miraculously..he came....much earlier..such that we couldn't do wad they want us to do. so we continued with first aid lesson..coz tmr's the thing! so yupps..badaging was good..elvin sir say one. then cpr..stress..coz madm joanne there..hahaha i forgot to call ambulance. so yah..too bad lor. hahaha..then theory..wasnt that good either. coz i failed by one mark. and i din study. hahaha..anyway it was a mock test.


then after that..some ppl went dinner. others went home. i went home and cpr-ed on my huge penguin. it worked okkay? and daddy and mummy were my little toys..and mugged until 1++..hahaha..but worked okkay. hmmm. then..............


saturday

mrt-ed alone to amk. then i so stupid..stand at one corner..then nvr see all of them at the other corner...haish..but then..alone..can study better sometimes.. so i wait till everyone reach ler then i go. hahaha..so then mrt-ed to dobhy ghaut..then we were discussing how to tie bandage and all..until so noisy. ppl were like looking lar..hahaha..then reach there..everyone so nervous. took the theory test ..everyone passed. and bandaging..that _____ sir was like _____. okkay..and he keep calling jialin xiao la jiao(little chilli?) eeeeew, okkay. then the badaging was cmi. coz his expectation of bandages is so much different from us. oh mans. but in the end..everyone still passed. hahha..and cpr..somehow, miraculously i passed..haha.. and i din forget to call ambulance.hahas. and again..everyone passed. cool mans. elvin sir say ours is one of the schools he's seen that everyone passed. so happy when he said that. =)) then after that..lunch-ed at ps with edna,qh,yf,jl,juli,winny,elvinsir and madmjoanne. THEY SAY I EAT SUPER SLOW!! oh mans..then they should see my laopo. hahahaha. then after that some ppl went home..left yf,qh,edna,juli and me. hahah. walked in carrefour for a long time..searching for fbt and food. hahahas. then saw some pianos..and went to di siao and ang moh..so bad right? hahaha..but very funny..i laughed like shit can. hahahahas. then searched for yf's fbt. got one bright orange one..then i took it..together with a orange fbt shirt. then held it in place..showing it to qh, she said i looked like a traffic light. -.- then juli qh yf and edna went to try sunglasses. super gao siao ..hahahaha esp qh de hacker glasses. then shoped for food..then yf was like a mama..taking everything she see..she say for her whole family.....hahahaha.. so funny. then we were like...yf go take rice...and take tissues and all..then madm joanne was laughing like no one's business?? haha..then in the end..yf bought her stuff..and we bought muffins and icecream..we ate outside carrefour..then make the floor so dirty..so much that the uncle had to clean the floor after us. then after that..mrt-ed home with everyone except madm joanne..we took different trains.


then very happy..coz now we are certified first aider ler..so cool..can save ppl. but must be careful not to kill them..or we can be sued for murder..so next time don't save ppl ler..hahahas.
just kidding lar..and...amkss will be joining FA competition in sept bahh..hope we can get 2nd runner up. =DDD amkss rcy ..jiayous! =))

they're watching the show on the tv on the bus. hmmm..and apparently..its funny. i mean..the show's funny.

cip today..met juliana at khatib mrt at 715. then mrt-ed to bishan. met vivien, and crossed the overhead bridge together. edna and qh was early, as usual. then waited for madm xinyu and madm fleonna. then we bus-ed to serangoon blk 238 for the cip thing. as we arrived earlier than 8, the thing was not open yet. so we wwaited outside..until 8, we were allowed to enter. then we sit, and wait. madm weilin and kexin were late..coz they couldn't find the place. in the end..they reached. and this lady gave us a briefing on wad to do and wad not to do. like wad don't drop the can, dun tamper with the coin slit, dun lose the CCA ..something to certify urself..and wad if we lost it must make police report. eh..u think this is our first time doing flag day meh?! like we dunno..we been doing for 3 yrs le okkay..and here u come crapping . i can't stand her. so when we could leave, i was overjoyed. we all decided to go tpy hdb hub. coz got the xiao yuan superstar. went there saw eunice jasmine patricia they all..eunice huanqing and some other ppl went to join. so patricia followed us, to help in asking ppl to donate money. haha..funny lar. okkay. then after awhile, we went to watch the superstar thing. actually..all ppl who went up there were considered brave. its really courageous okkay. if it were me, i'll be shaking ler. some ppl went up there..then forget lyrics. others zao sia..went out of tune. but some others were quite good. actually the judges oso choose ppl by the looks. candidates must be of acceptable weight, look pretty, and of course, must be able to sing. and me, juliana and vivien stand there and watch..haha. we din go ask ppl tong qian. until...we decided madm joanne coming, then me and vivien went to amk. at amk..i got alot of ppl to help donate. it was cool. ppl were quite nice. give so much coins. alot of ppl donated 2 dollar notes too. collected half the can when madm joanne came. then me, vivien and madm joanne lunched at amk..b4 going to collect again. again, more memories to be kept in my heart. then after lunch.. vivien went to bustop to collect. while me and madm joanne were like fighting for the spot outside the optical store..coz there ..i collected alot of money. haha..so yah..i still got my place in the end..and madm joanne had to go to outside the popular there..haha..sorry madm. in between, we were like smiling at each other..very funny. then collect until 3++ 4. then when we decided to go, we found a wallet..belonging to a cute looking boy. then we decided to go return it to the security guard. we waited at the counter for a long time. duringg this time..madm joanne keep wanting to kapo my hp. saying that inside got msg from bf..hahaha..super funny lar..can't even read msg in peace ..but yah..again..somemore memories ..that i will look back to in future.

then when we decided that the security guard ain't gonna come back, we left. me and her walked towards the mrt to find vivien. then along the way madm joanne saw her 'didi'. vball the junhao. then they chatted..and it gave me a chance to take photo again..muhaahahahaha.

errr..actually i din know who he was in the first place..so just took the photos..but then i asked madm who he is..found out that he is him. so ermm...yup..got a serious shock of my life. wonder how they met anyway..madm de didi? more like korkor. he so tall..see the height difference..oops. haha. then after he left, we met juli and vivien at the mrt. then went back to the serangoon there to return cans. then after that went to amk central de mac. to sit and chat. again, madm joanne try to steal my phone..my phone got that interesting meh? hahah..then finally somehow..she got it..and read my msg! haha..but its okkay. then play play play..ppl see see see. haha..then somehow my hands were around her shoulders to try get back my hp..but to no avail. she read my msg ler..then let her read lor..haha. then after that..we settled down..and decided to go amk hub walk walk. walked around..looking at the stores. somehow..there was something going on..i dunno how to describe it. was it that obvious?? my junior saw my feelings, read my mind, knew wad i was doing. i just felt i wanted to care for her, and got worried when her leg was injured or something. i din know why will lidat. den started to bang the wall with my fist and knuckles..pain leh..but i din feel it. coz my brain was too occupied..my junior saw my intentions. and she keep physco me that i like my rabbit, and not her. yeah..but just keep hitting the wall. until hand all red. i just like couldn't control myself. she looked so innocent then..even i know she isn't. but just wanted to care for her. din want her to get hurt. she wanted to know wad is it abt..but i can't tell her. is like..why..why will like that? maybe it was just a trick? maybe i just treat her as a normal friend?? but it can't be, coz i treat everyone in a normal way..but not her. or maybe i have been deceiving myself all the time. maybe i don't really like my mountain kia? but can't be..........some things are just so complicated. esp when i'm not a guy. wth. i don't know wad to do. then vivien left. leaving me, madm joanne and juliana. then we strolled to the mrt station. and it was goodbye. very she bu de. because when its goodbye, i don't know when we'll see each other again. hopefully soon. and thank you for today's memories. they will be in my heart .

travelled home by mrt with juliana..talked abt wad happened. i don't know how she can sense it. how come. its not obvious okkay..even though my hands were like shaking the whole time..and i was sweating. i almost could not control my hand okkay. but yeah..managed to ..in the end..after banging the wall. and the wall said ouch. -.- but still can't explain the feeling. maybe isit when some one treats u good, u will have that feeling? hmmmm..maybe. i guess i'm a person who likes touch. i touch ppl's shoulders, hands as a form of expression..maybe care? but those who don't like it..better stand further away from me. so yup..that's all. but somehow..the worry is still there. i don't want her to get hurt again. so YOU. yes YOU ..you'd better take good care of her..if not, i'll take the chopper and chop u up into a thousand pieces. u HEAR?!

friday..woke around at 8++..then piano-ed like siao. coz must chiong to sch to do project. ve project. then reached sch around 10++. the rest were doing project. so yah..went there actually did nothing. felt bad..edna did almost all the drawings. yeah..den after wards..madm weilin came ..she just finished her bio remedial. so we chatted..den lunched together at kfc.

then after lunch, returned to sch for trng. first aid trng. elvin sir came..and taught us theory for first aid..walao..so pro leh..he go so fast..then me and winny chiong for copying. then our hand like wanna break ler.. and ahh..somehow..i think hamtaro told him something abt me..and yah..he say wad he heard abt me b4..then mendi go add..she's the champion first aider..i'm not ..i'm not good enough to be one. so don't say that ever again ya? then after that ..elvin sir taught alot of things..we copied abt 20 pages of impt notes. copy until hand wan break ler..after theory..was the practical..sir recaped with us abt the bandages. then madm joanne came. and this is wad happened.........

edna fractured her arm.

madm fleonna got eye injury.

madm fleonna again

madm xinyu. so cute right..haha. and madm kexin the first aider.

er yupp..that's all for the pics bah..very little..but enough. then after that..had to do cpr. i was shaking okkay..practically shaking..my hands so cold..and was sweating..coz the sir keep saying wad i was link-cadet..must do better. then very stress. but yah..then luckily the sir din NG(not-good) . mendi kena NG alot of times..so kelian. yah..the did the 2 blows..no..i did 4..then did the pumping..do until i hands like jelly..legs also like jelly. after that..we ended our lesson..thanked the sir elvin. and he so good..gave us sweets too. =)

then madm joanne took down our particulars for tmr the thing..the cip for flag day. then they dinnered together at s11. but me and juliana went home first. talked on the way..chatted and gossiped..haha. fun. then tmr got the thing. we doing full day..good right. hmmm.

and now very glad that mendi is liking rc more and more..that's very good. like that then she will do her best for rc. really hope others will be like her too. then for sure the unit will prosper.

so many questions..as to why things happen. always - why? see how ppl change? see wad they become? i really dunno wad u r thinking. can u tell us? at least let us know why. we used to be good friends. good friends share everything..including the hardships. do u know that? u used to do that, but now..its just so wrong. maybe in the first place u didn't have feelings for us. maybe to u..we r just another person on ur wide list of friends. maybe we don't mean anything to u? u asked for chances, we gave u chances. everytime we are abt to give up on u, then somehow u will just apologise. do u know that ur apology has a great impact on us? everytime u say sorry, u melt our hearts u know..and we are willing to give u another chance. but when we do, maybe u take our chances for granted, thinking that we'll always be there to give u a chance? i'm sad to say..there's also a limit for us. we can nvr always be there u know..once u cross the line..its hard to get back to the other side. and u've hurt us all...deeply. maybe u don't know. but we do. time....u say u need time..but time is precious. this is the crucial moment..can't u make and exception?? this is an impt time..where everyone is stressed up. with studies, cca and blah. u know..it would help if u could be there..maybe not to help if u don't want to..but just be there. let us know that u still care. its very impt leh..even though its just moral support..but i think all of us would be happy just to know u're there. so can u try? please?

today...link-cadet activity. i was an attituder. i gave attitude. because of her. i tot i hated her . but..as my previous post states. hmmmmm..so yeah..went to east coast with my dear peiying..and my little linkies. yckss went too. in the bus, talked to madm kexin..isit consider gossip?? haha..maybe..wow..then we become big time gossipers! weee..haha..but yeah..the talk was really quite nice. coz is like we all seldom communicate like that. uh huh...so ..after we reached..went beach cleaning..saw many dead jelly fish, little crabs and stinking dead fishes. eeeeew.

then the wind was BIG BIG BIG. den me and yilin were like ...we went into toilet do hair(zi lian hor!)..then we walk out...the wind blew again..then we said...so irritating...go make hao hao come out still kena blow..so ma fan! hahaha..damn funny lar..yeah..then after that..somehow..i got slightly irritated by ahem. i think alot of ppl know ler. yupp..then is like we are the instructors...then is like got her...jiu we dun need do anything ler..the sec 1s damn cute..'the madm come here do everything, we also got nothing to do..call us come for wad?!' hahaha..damn funny lar..but seriously..everytime ahem is here..we got nothing to do ler...QIANG WO MEN DE FAN WAN!! haha..then i was bad-mooding..and ppl come comfort me. sorry to the person if i had shown u any attitude. i've explain myself terribly clearly in the last post ler okkay..so u slowly go read and comprehend. hmmmmm. then let the kiddos play games...they're so innocent..and they can be so void of unhappiness..they played our simple games with so much enthusiasm..unlike us. qh and i were amazed at how they could be so innocent..and be contented with such simple things..how i wish i could too. and after games.. we went back peiying primary...ate lunch..i was still bu shuang-ing. oh mans. i pity those around me. sorry for being such an ass ..i apologise okkay. then we were split into groups again..my group went to do evacuation. cool man. love it..edna and me were the main aiders..while poor kewei had to risk being our casualty..haha..who ask her be the lightest! haha..jkjk..had a very very good time there..with madm kexin..we planned to play a trick on madm weilin..to sort of bend her knees..and make her kneel w/o much force..then we keep laughing and laughing. haha..but i missed these laughter..and i learned to treasure it..because i know that in a yr from now..i will be thinnking back of these things...so enjoyed it. but too bad our trick failed..then we decided to try it on madm joanne..too bad she was too smart for it. hmmmm..i wonder how she knew. but yeah..she managed to escape. and guess where she went.

yah..that's where she went.

hmm..then after that ..i went to ka ciao the ppl in the cpr room..i went to ka ciao the jingkai sir from yckss..i posed many unsolvable questions..hahah..but he stilled tried his best to answer. yah..and he gave alot of tips on cpr..good. madm xinyu nvr kan cuo ren!! haha.

then they had a break. after break, we went back to evac station. i learned to do the fireman's lift from mr chia. again......i asked many unanswerable questions..i asked until my dear mr chia had no answer for it!! hahahah! okkay..then kept trying the fireman's lift thing..but keep cannot! so pek chek. ahh..nvm..then taught the kids the 2,3,4 handseats. some grps were very cooperative, others not.

yupp..then at around 6, we were dismissed. and hey, there's still more pics. but i'm kinda sure i will get killed for posting these pics.

our 3 sleeping beauties. love them so much! =)

i don't know why. i didn't dare to look at u at all today.somehow felt so strange..and far apart. den came the hate, i don't know why. but its just that feeling..when u're there, i feel like running away. so i did. further away from you to some place else. i could not sort out my thinking. u are a nice person. but somehow..only in the past could i communicate to you. now, i feel like even standing beside u is a torture.


just came back from a night out alone. thought of wad happened and all. you did alot for me, u were there to comfort me when i cried, to be my teacher and guider when i was in desperate need of help, listening ears to me when i needed to complain. so much u did for me. i suddenly feel that feeling back again. at graduation assembly, i gave u a gift. and a hug. and my tears. then u sent me a long msg. in which i thoroughly read it through again and again. wondering if u would take back ur words. after wad i did. hmmm..yep..i sent u a msg..asking u a question. and yeah..we talked......just like the way we used to in the past. it was some misunderstanding?? i guess we really have not talked for a long time. wad u told me today....made me feel so guilty. u said u felt sad when i appeared so scared of u..i don't know if thats the truth..but somehow..u think i'm not sad too? i'm sad..but i can't show it. i mustn't. so i controlled. and yeah. no one knows.


i thought the person i admired most and respected most was ******. but somehow when this thing happened, u're the one. did i feel so sad when ****** did not really show me wad i had expected. i felt sad, but not as sad as now. not as heartbroken as now. u merely said one sentence..but the impact of that sentence..was so great it made me feel hurt! just one sentence..which show how much ur friendship really meant. now i understand. did i take ur friendship for granted? when u were ther for me, i only kept thinking of ******..but now .. i want back our friendship. i don't know why. i'm wondering..do u really mean that much to me? that i could sit there for hours thinking abt wad u said..and crying at the same time. i'm really surprised..u are the special person that can make me feel hurt by a sentence meant to be just a light joke. okkay..i really hope we can be the greatest friends...like wad u told me in that msg. thanks really alot..for telling me some truths..to help me realise these facts. i guess there will no longer be any running aways? maybe.....i'm not sure.

the time is wrong again. and i don't know why.

today 11 march..is a total disaster. nothing went right today. came to sch in momo's car. hmm..wearing purple pe tee..coz can't find all my size 40 blue shirts. yea..then reached sch..to see qh sitting there by herself. asked her why she appeared here at 8.45 so early...and she replied, 'oh, i 8.30 already reach ler.' then i was like, '....................' then madm kexin walked past. and i was like ...greet or dun greet. in the end she 'flew' away le. and at the same time, madm xinyu walked towards our direction. i decided to greet, so i greeted. qh tot she no need great..so she just sit there. then who knows madm xinyu ask her she tua pai no need greet ah..haha..funny lar.


so leng right? whatever. -.-


then yf and edna arrived. yinyin was late. so we proceeded upstairs to ava room first..then i somehow rmb-ed to ask the madms up as well. so i dashed downstairs..without asking where the rest would be going to.. den knocked on the room door...waited there for like 5 mins. and finally..i peeped. i'm a peeping tom! woo. yeah..peeped through the small little hole that they apparently forgot to close. and saw nobody in side; the lights were on leh. waste electricity. yeah..so tot they would find their way up some how or another..like wad i had to do then. i searched everywhere..finally found them in ava room at 3rd floor. entered..then start practising the 2,3,4 handseat..recovery position, human stretcher and all. then madms came in after awhile, shouted that we had 10 sec to get down to the foyer..so we chiong downstair..we tot got wad big thing..and as expected..'WHOLE LOT KNOCK IT DOWN!' kkay..pumping position..then they questioned us why we din tell them where we going..aiya..then dunno lar..gave them some stupid weird explanation..okkay..'WHOLE LOT RECOVER'..then we chiong upstairs again..to see the land ppl sitting on the floor outside the room..woa..so manny ppl..we shocked dao. then everyone went in..so noisy lar..and they were taking their own sweet time at everything...and we ren-ed and ren-ed and ren-ed..finally when we talk finished..and they learned finished..we exit the room..


went downstairs to wait for guides. heard they dropped their pole on friday...and today. so suay..kena alot of pumping..den heard land lost some receipts and their sergeant asked qinjie to find..make sure he find all..den we saw him looking for it..then go asked him wad he looking for..then we all pitched in to help..see him like that..its a big big torture man. u can somehow feel his pain....and anxiety. how hard he looked round for the receipts..then we went around searching in the dustbins..and woooo...LUCKY ME..I FOUND OUR GOD DAMN WORKSHEETS THAT WE GAVE LAND CADETS in the HOLY DUSTBIN! u know wad is dustbin??
D-U-S-T-B-I-N....u could not imagine how fuming mad i was then...i looked as if i could really breathe fire. wow..okkay..then told qj abt this...didn't mean to like speak in that manner to him..coz is not his fault..and he is already so stressed and pressurised..but somehow..i.....lost control? i don't know..but i really dunno wad we did to deserve this kind of thing. its a sunday morning...we ppl have to wake up esp early to come to sch..and teach u guys these things...and u do this to us??! we really owe u something isit?! i don't think so lar!! u guys too guo fen le right? even wanna throw..oso be smarter..at least throw it somewhere where we won't see it right?!!


their sirs found the ppl who did that lar..is sec 1s and 2s...then they apologised to us. but wad we want is not an apology..we want an explanation why this would happen? is the notes really worthless to u?! dowan den return to us lar..u know print these things need money? need paper? need ink? u all know anot?! and u all should not be apologising to us....it should be to ur sirs! and sergeants. they work so hard to uphold the unit to wad it is now..and because of wad u did..u cause their work to all go down the drain. ur unit...NCC LAND leh..maybe u all dont care?! but we do! we are fellow UGians. we care even if u don't.


and so...this was the one most unfortunate incidents today..other than the fact that many ppl got injured today..3 ppl from ncc land injured their knees..and one girl from choir hyperventilated. me and edna went to help..but apparently..was not much of help..coz got the higher ppl like mr tan and mr ng..so we no need do anything ler.


then yf and juli went to buy our lunch. den as we got no comp lab to use..we asked for permission to use one of the computers in NCC land's ops room, which is itlr 1. then we took turns eat our lunch outside the room coz sir say cannot bring in. then the reps from RC, GG, NCC air, NPCC came..then we discussed abt our games and all. then the budget given was very little..$50 for doorgifts and equipment for games. so we had to find a cheap alternative for doorgifts. in the end settled for compressed leaves. not such a good idea..but definitely cheap. in fact, free. coz we pluck from sch tress. hmmm.


then after our meeting, we went around to collect some leaves for that thing. then thanked the sergeants for being kind enough to lend us the room..really thanks ahh..if not for the fact u all let us use..we no need do our proposal thing ler..haha. den after that went to macs again. we talked and all..and finally left after we shuang. then 88-ed to hougang/yck road with edna and juli. and after that switched to bus 854 with juli. reached khatib then got down. poor juli..had to take 3 buses to reach home. really thanks for pei-ing me arh..


reached home ler..quite sleepy..tmr still got the link-cadet thing. oh man..yiling and madm joanne sure love to play games with me man! dunno wad they doing lar. but yeah..heard that madm joanne going tmr. so cham. sure die. i don't wanna go ler la..got madm joanne kong ju zheng. sad. SAVE ME!!

saturday, 10 march..PIANO EXAM!! wahh..stress..coz i din really study. hmm. opps. and yeah..so as usual..my momo had to pull me out of bed..coz had to leave house by 8.45..coz must go starhub centre..which apparently is very far from my khatib home. so..ate, studied abit, then left..my sisters all go take oso. so in the car..we mugged the whole time.. mugged until went kuku lar..but good thing that someone sent me a msg..which is actually abt her changing her phone number..tell me to take note..but it became a conversation..so i was half studying, half sms-ing. but it was so nice. i finally understand some things..hmm..then talked until i had to go in the exam hall. told her that and she wished me good luck. yeah..felt so blessed. and full of confidence. it may be nothing to others..but it meant a whole lot to me. i'm not tong zhi or wad..i just.............arrrr..wadever..think wad u all like. i'm tired to explain. so took the exam..stayed in there and wrote and wrote..after half an hour..many ppl left. then left afew. but because i don't want to get anymore naggings, i stayed in there. checked my answers again and again. after i felt i could do nothing more, i 'plopped' on the table..and SLEPT! yes, slept. because got air con..and because i was woken up this morn for the test, the exam hall was a good place to sleep. so........

slept............

slept.......................

and slept. -.-

woke up after abt 30 mins. then checked my paper again before handing up . walked out of the room and straight to peepee. =)) hahaha..den sms-ed my dear caryn. she took exam too. but diff grade. so we talked and talked. i lunched at pizza hut with family and friends.

my lunch, but as usual..i eat ler, drink ler, then rmb to take photo.

the drink was nice..lunch was good too..but very very fattening. must go running ler. who want go run with me?? hahas. then home-d after lunch. so bored..then must prepare for first aid thing tmr. dunno if the guys will be appreciative anot.

i missed the past. i tot i could carry on. but when i saw that old class room of ours. tears just came to my eyes. the clock, our cupboard, and the very place i sat at with my sitting partner, xx. all those memories came back. and somehow..i tot of how everyone had changed. emo-ed back to 3/3..and tried to occupy myself with something to do..so i won't think of anything else. so...took the merit/demerit file and just read my peers' particulars. yeah..reading made me feel worse. somehow..i see how my friends look when they were sec 1. and how they looked now. that's just a physical change. coz everyone grows. but its wad's in side of them that's scary. they've changed. i don't know how to explain it. but i really wish everything would be back to the past. now there's many other problems. don't know how to solve it. i guess i'll take one step at a time.

friday's trng..more controlled. more like the past. more like the trng i missed. more like the old times. but they still as slack. so i wu hua ke shuo. there was a weird thing going on..yeah..and internal conflicts i don't wanna speak of. ppl pon-ned trng again. maybe because of the mere fact we were asked to bring uniform..perhaps they tot there would be a changing parade but too bad there wasn't, and we din even get to wear our uniforms. hmm. and i told a lie again. felt guilty, bad, and everything else that could make me feel bad enough to apologise. i apologised..but i think apology not accepted. well, i tried. and i will keep trying.


anyway..we marched in the hot sun..and somehow..some ppl were distracted because of some things..and kept doing wrong drills. den in the end kena pumped on the so terribly hot carpark ground. do u have any idea how sizzling the ground was? according to qh..it is a frying prata stove. hmmmm...u know, a stove that can fry prata . yeah..for me, it was like putting ur hand on some bbq pit, bbq-ing ur hand. okkay..yf and chongxi was the first to tio. very cham leh..yf was crying...and i don't know wad happen to chongxi. our squad asked for permission to down with them for upteen times, but she ignored us. fine. then after they were allowed to recover, we continued with our drills, and i saw their hands... woah! their hands were like bright red due to the heat. madm xinyu then apologised to them, saying that the ground was really really hot. and we must learn to endure this kind of heat. then after that..dunno we did something wrong again. then whole lot knock it down, so our squad was like jumping around, just tat we were in pumping position. everyone like keep saying HOT HOT HOT..then finally madm let us do in the shade. that felt so much better.


then continued with our day's activity..but yeah..we did not wear uniform..some ppl were disappointed, others happy. so then the last thing on our RO was lesson time! woo..re-caped some first aid stuff, evac, and cpr. super fun..i love evac. miss all the practical sessions in the past. yeah. then madm weilin and i were like keep trying to do the cradle carry, and the high dragging, low dragging. so fun. wish to learn more. then continued...at first madm kexin keep ask me to do cpr on the little anne, but i keep pretend to talk to madm weilin about the evac stuff. sorry madm kexin. hmm..then extended the trng until about 6++ coz the cadets were like so enthu in cpr..then keep wanna give the little anne mouth-to-mouth..so as usual, ended with the debrief. and there..our wonderful trng has ended! =D

sorry yifang and julian..happy belated birthdays. hmm

our dear yifang!!

and oops. the birthday boy with ahem! hahaha =)

i think i will be killed after this..but i dun mind losing my head for this. =DD

went blog-hopping..realised that alot of cca leaders re-approaching themselves these days. isn't it abit too late to feel bad abt it now? why din u all think of changing when u all just took over? somemore u all got great leaders to help u all..haish..how abt us? hmm..shit..shan't complain anymore. but yeah..madms and sirs..if anyone of u all reading this, which i hope not, u all have been great leaders, maybe u all tried ur best le? u all did alot for ur unit le..but maybe the cadets just don't listen? u all say like that...very scary leh..if u all feel this way..won't we feel even worse? wondering..wads gonna happen when u all pass out? when we take over? isit gonna be very bad? how come...these days..cadets can't even take it..they cant even do 10 pumpings properly..and they no urgency leh..ask them run..they stroll....haish..next trng we gonna kena scolding from madms..long time nvr get scolded ler..hope can go back to last yrs trng..where its discipline, discipline and more discipline. and the sad thing is..no one comes back..every trng..i think to myself, will anyone be back to see us? maybe no one else feels that way..of wanting seniors to come back..but i feel otherwise leh..how come ahh? i don't know. but when i see other cca de seniors come back..i somehow wished that our seniors would come back..that would be a miracle. trng these days really holds no meaning anymore. its just very ordinary. i have no idea how to plan a fun trng. if we plan a fun trng, it has to be slack..or sec 1s won't find it fun. but if it were a fun trng, madms will scold. coz they say too slack. argh..really don't know wad to do. i really think those ppl who want fun trng should not even have joined UG. UG is abt drills, standard and discipline. but yeah. don't know why will become like that. oh wells.

again, there's something wrong with the blogger time..isit my eyes went bonkers and i'm seeing things? orr isit really wrong?

wad's wrong with me? am i stressed? that i become kuku already? everyday in sch..that happy, smiling face seems no longer me. during maths lesson..i go crazy..even mabel says i belong to IMH. qh added that i belonged there a long time ago. do i look like a crazy person now? someone that just lost her mind. do i lack friendship? somehow friends just come and go...don't know how to keep any by my side. i'm so selfish. because no one belongs to me. just really hope there will be someone who can be there for me. sometimes i ask, can pei me go somewhere, that person that is willing to pei me is really impt. some just say..sorry. busy. but they don't know how much that means to me. just that small action of pei-ing me speaks a thousand words. its somehow really impt to me. but no one understands, or rather bothers. its okkay..i shall learn to be independent. but i'm still waiting for that friend, that friend who will be there always...

why? how come u just won't understand? i've grown up ler..u can't keep telling me what to do. i'll become even more rebellious. i hate ur naggings, ur scoldings, and ur whatever shit telling me to study and all. u think i don't know that i must study meh? i know when to study de...but u keep pushing me ..i can't stand it anymore..staying back in school keeps me away from this horrendous place. i just wanna go for camps, and stuff with my beloved friends..i know when to study for my piano and all.. but u still treat me like a little kid who don't know anything. i really wish i can grow up faster...do wad i want. u're overprotecting. haish..like i don't know what to do like that. sec 3 will be a stressful year, with tests, cca, piano and other stuff..but i know i'll be able to manage. if only u weren't there to stop me from doing things i love to do.