I flipped through my report book at an attempt to act like studious student a few days ago.
One where he/she would try to compare results & look at the areas for inprovement.
Then I unknowingly flipped the pages to look at my results during my sec 2 days.
& my eyes scrolled to the bottom of the page where the remarks read that I
have a cheerful & friendly disposition that is endearing to teachers & fellow
peers. I'm having second thoughts as I re-read it in my mind.
Perhaps I have changed. Another one of the remarks read: She needs to be more
focused during lessons and not be easily distracted by other matters. Other matters
referring to my beloved sitting partner.
However I'd wish that I'm distracted by my peers rather than being distracted
by evil thoughts or just plain air. Imagine being distracted by plain air!
Should I feel chagrined at my absurd attitude towards her? Should I go on
deceiving myself?
Monday, May 26, 2008
With O lvl's chinese down, its feels as if a huge burden has been removed.
Anticipated for this day to be over, even though its only the first paper.
However there's this undescribable feeling, as if i'm so pressed for time.
Time just slowly ticks away when you want it to pass fast, but it flies just
when you want it to slow down.
I completed my Paper1 half an hour before time's up. Sitting at my desinated
place in the hall, with my name printed on a piece of sticker stuck at the top right
hand corner of my table, I looked around. I noticed the invigilators' stares, so I
stared back. Then I looked at the 2 huge digital clocks at the right & left side of
the hall. It felt like eternity before a minute passed. Everyone seemed so engrossed
in scribbling their answers on the answer booklet. & I seemed like the only one
sitting there with nothing to do. Just exactly like everyone's coloured, however I'm
the only one who's black & white.
My point is, even in studies, I'm simply just black & white, still stuck behind in time,
while the rest have visibly progressed through time.
Paper 2 started quick & ended the same way. I have no recollection of my feelings
as I was writing my answers. Perhaps there isn't a need to, because I will forget
soon enough!
Interesting, how I am able to describe fully my exact feelings when doing Paper 1, yet
have completely no thoughts about Paper 2. However, it ain't a big deal because over
time, it will just become yet another fragment of my memory.
It was a seemingly wonderful day out; spending precious time out on the streets
& at the malls was a great way to destress, we self-consolated. Many a time today,
indecisiveness set in, & we realised we were either walking aimlessly, or else just
standing at a corner in our quiet group of 3. Even so, it was wrong to do that because
an SMRT officer warned us to move off. Well well, in the end hasty decisions were made
& the places we decided to go proved unsuitable only once we've reached there.
Edna was obviously 'bullying' Sam today. Though it was sort of a spectacle to onlookers,
& we had our green uniforms donned on, but it was much of the only entertainment. At
times it was hilarious alright. Ehhm, did I laugh cause it was hilarious, or because I had
nothing to say? (This question is rhetorical!)
Man, I think I'm on the road to become a looney. (I speak to myself!!)
Gosh, I think I'm done for today. Anymore & I'll really turn mad. Literally?
So, Byeee.
Anticipated for this day to be over, even though its only the first paper.
However there's this undescribable feeling, as if i'm so pressed for time.
Time just slowly ticks away when you want it to pass fast, but it flies just
when you want it to slow down.
I completed my Paper1 half an hour before time's up. Sitting at my desinated
place in the hall, with my name printed on a piece of sticker stuck at the top right
hand corner of my table, I looked around. I noticed the invigilators' stares, so I
stared back. Then I looked at the 2 huge digital clocks at the right & left side of
the hall. It felt like eternity before a minute passed. Everyone seemed so engrossed
in scribbling their answers on the answer booklet. & I seemed like the only one
sitting there with nothing to do. Just exactly like everyone's coloured, however I'm
the only one who's black & white.
My point is, even in studies, I'm simply just black & white, still stuck behind in time,
while the rest have visibly progressed through time.
Paper 2 started quick & ended the same way. I have no recollection of my feelings
as I was writing my answers. Perhaps there isn't a need to, because I will forget
soon enough!
Interesting, how I am able to describe fully my exact feelings when doing Paper 1, yet
have completely no thoughts about Paper 2. However, it ain't a big deal because over
time, it will just become yet another fragment of my memory.
It was a seemingly wonderful day out; spending precious time out on the streets
& at the malls was a great way to destress, we self-consolated. Many a time today,
indecisiveness set in, & we realised we were either walking aimlessly, or else just
standing at a corner in our quiet group of 3. Even so, it was wrong to do that because
an SMRT officer warned us to move off. Well well, in the end hasty decisions were made
& the places we decided to go proved unsuitable only once we've reached there.
Edna was obviously 'bullying' Sam today. Though it was sort of a spectacle to onlookers,
& we had our green uniforms donned on, but it was much of the only entertainment. At
times it was hilarious alright. Ehhm, did I laugh cause it was hilarious, or because I had
nothing to say? (This question is rhetorical!)
Man, I think I'm on the road to become a looney. (I speak to myself!!)
Gosh, I think I'm done for today. Anymore & I'll really turn mad. Literally?
So, Byeee.
Friday, May 16, 2008
Sometimes, acquaintances just click.
Well, had buffet at the supposedly 5 star Changi Hotel.
It was just okay-okay. But something else made this trip
memorable.
The acquaintance that I met, I will not forget. & that yellow
shirt too.
& its 3 more hours to dear mum's birthday.
O level's chinese is drawing nearer. So is POP.
Then I realise I'm going to turn 16 soon. Means
no more playing & everything. I should become
more mature. No more childish feelings or whatsoever.
& I realised, that things that I thought I will never
forget, I'm beginning to forget as time passes.
Let me just shrug my shoulders and simply say,
'I don't care anymore.'
O levels. I'm running my last lap. No more distractions,
I'm glad. No more weird messages. I'm in sec 4.
Well, had buffet at the supposedly 5 star Changi Hotel.
It was just okay-okay. But something else made this trip
memorable.
The acquaintance that I met, I will not forget. & that yellow
shirt too.
& its 3 more hours to dear mum's birthday.
O level's chinese is drawing nearer. So is POP.
Then I realise I'm going to turn 16 soon. Means
no more playing & everything. I should become
more mature. No more childish feelings or whatsoever.
& I realised, that things that I thought I will never
forget, I'm beginning to forget as time passes.
Let me just shrug my shoulders and simply say,
'I don't care anymore.'
O levels. I'm running my last lap. No more distractions,
I'm glad. No more weird messages. I'm in sec 4.
Friday, May 09, 2008
Today, finally it is complete. The 'family' portrait.
It definitely feels much more comfortable & soothing
when no one's missing.
I suppose this joy is inexplicable.
Eh, digressing a little, had our lunch at j8's kfc.
I had a Zinger, which oddly, didn't taste
like Zinger. Rather, it tasted horrible!! I thought
perhaps it was just my tastebuds, who knows
that when I finally could not take it that I voiced
it out, I realised that Yf & Qh had felt the same.
Immediately Yf dropped her burger, which was
kind of hilarious. Haha, is it true about the 'injecting
some liquid into the chicken' thing like what Mabel
had said?
Anyway, no matter what, I'm not going to eat
Zinger again; until unless of course, I feel the urge
to try it again.
Oh yea, back to the topic, it just feels good.
To be able to sit tgt, its heavenly bliss! (:
Sounds exaggerated though, but its been
a loooooooong time. & being tgt often brings
us closer!
And one more thing, cadets planning our
special event, must make it SPECIAL alright!
=DD It has to be exclusive to our batch only
okay. Hehs.
Anticipation(:
It definitely feels much more comfortable & soothing
when no one's missing.
I suppose this joy is inexplicable.
Eh, digressing a little, had our lunch at j8's kfc.
I had a Zinger, which oddly, didn't taste
like Zinger. Rather, it tasted horrible!! I thought
perhaps it was just my tastebuds, who knows
that when I finally could not take it that I voiced
it out, I realised that Yf & Qh had felt the same.
Immediately Yf dropped her burger, which was
kind of hilarious. Haha, is it true about the 'injecting
some liquid into the chicken' thing like what Mabel
had said?
Anyway, no matter what, I'm not going to eat
Zinger again; until unless of course, I feel the urge
to try it again.
Oh yea, back to the topic, it just feels good.
To be able to sit tgt, its heavenly bliss! (:
Sounds exaggerated though, but its been
a loooooooong time. & being tgt often brings
us closer!
And one more thing, cadets planning our
special event, must make it SPECIAL alright!
=DD It has to be exclusive to our batch only
okay. Hehs.
Anticipation(:
Monday, May 05, 2008
Lets just say, you have described everything that I felt. My nonchalence towards everything, as well as my indifference, was an image I had promised myself. Because sometimes its just so difficult to face the forthcoming of an unexpected event. Exactly an event like. . .the dismal view of emptiness up ahead. Then you'll ask yourself, what happened to the usuals? Or where am I heading? Home? Are we going for lunch? Are they waiting for me? Or am I waiting for them?
The myriad of questions subconsciously appearing into your mind, endlessly.
Why is this even necessary, if people don't assume. & most of the time, however, we assume. Well its true that it takes initiave to be the one to voice out those simple questions, but who is the consistent one that, without fail, will ask these questions daily?
That's why it is said that people learn to cherish only when they realise their loss. Because when it is there, people don't realise its significance. & always assume it will always be there. However once it has disappeared, they ponder over its loss. Or maybe not? (Take for example this instance)
Sounds cliche right, the part where 'poeple learn to cherish only when they realise their loss', but astoundingly, every single word there makes absolute sense.
Anyway, I believe ours is but closely bonded camaraderie(not brotherhood, but sisterhood?); where sometimes avoidance is necessary, right?? Right.
And the prolonged silence in between is just to give us time to think of our next word, right?
Right again.
I do hope it ain't just self-consolation. Because it shouldn't be self-justification, as it requires every invovled person to recognise the above 2 lines.
That day will come, when we supposedly will meet once every 2 months; despite our new life, our new friends, & our hectic future. Roam the world together? Absorb the wondrous sight of New Zealand together? When now the presence of long silence-s & avoidance already awaits every day?
The myriad of questions subconsciously appearing into your mind, endlessly.
Why is this even necessary, if people don't assume. & most of the time, however, we assume. Well its true that it takes initiave to be the one to voice out those simple questions, but who is the consistent one that, without fail, will ask these questions daily?
That's why it is said that people learn to cherish only when they realise their loss. Because when it is there, people don't realise its significance. & always assume it will always be there. However once it has disappeared, they ponder over its loss. Or maybe not? (Take for example this instance)
Sounds cliche right, the part where 'poeple learn to cherish only when they realise their loss', but astoundingly, every single word there makes absolute sense.
Anyway, I believe ours is but closely bonded camaraderie(not brotherhood, but sisterhood?); where sometimes avoidance is necessary, right?? Right.
And the prolonged silence in between is just to give us time to think of our next word, right?
Right again.
I do hope it ain't just self-consolation. Because it shouldn't be self-justification, as it requires every invovled person to recognise the above 2 lines.
That day will come, when we supposedly will meet once every 2 months; despite our new life, our new friends, & our hectic future. Roam the world together? Absorb the wondrous sight of New Zealand together? When now the presence of long silence-s & avoidance already awaits every day?
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