when you all walked the red carpet.
i saw you, all of you. till i cried. when
it dawned on me that you'll be gone,
as the classes opposite ours shall be
empty, quiteness shall surround the
4th level. there'll be no one to be at
that window anymore! no one.

no one.

not even her. gone. gone its all gone!
where were the memories?
forever-and-a-day.. no more. when's
the day you'll ever meet again?
where? which part of the world?
will you pretend you didn't see?
will you just walk past as though
they're invisible?
will you stop to think, who's that
familiar face?
will you?

its all scribbled in those little books,
books to them. i hope they get it.
i hope they understand. i hope they
feel it. i want them to know. i need
them to know.

words, inexplicable. i can't explain.
i don't know, why i'm mixed up.

yf, i look up to you. you had the
courage to give yesterday a miss.
i wanted to, but .. i thought i would
regret. i know you'll miss her even
more than i do. i know it. but you
were brave enough, to not go.

it hurts, it really does. tell me what
i should do, when i try to be happy.
to smile, to laugh, to uphold an image.


today was bad enough, i did try. try
my best to excel, just for once. to
do better than i myself expected. but
i was utterly disappointed, even more
than the usual. and some things made
it even worse. qh finally understands
how i feel.

you called. i didn't know if i should pick
up. but i was having training. it was the
first time you called. but i was glad that
you were fine.

my dear dear cadets, i'd hope today's
training had helped you recalled more
of your drills. footdrill competition is
round the corner. we must show the
rest. is that CLEAR?!! =DD
way to go AMKSSRCY!

this post ended in a happy tone, luckily.
i hate my results.