I remember, it was not long ago that I still had the burning passion to blog. Though I sieved my words thoroughly before publishing a post, at least I knew I had put down my words somewhere. But now, I don't get the feeling to blog anymore. Because life is just life. When I wake up in the morning, I have nothing to look forward to - nothing.

In Amkss, I would spring out of bed whenever I had to wake up earlier for RC related stuffs, no matter how tired I was. In Ijc, I would get out of bed enthusiastically for the thought of friends kept me going, despite the dreadful lessons and ahem, teachers.

Now in SP, though I have more freedom, and am in the course I tried so hard to get in for, life feels empty. For the people whom I have met, can never be compared to those of previous months and years. Say perhaps its because I am afterall in, a drama course, & drama ppl tend to be different from others, in the sense that everything to them, is but drama. Life's drama. We are the actors. That is why, I don't get to see the real 'them'. They are actors, they act. I don't know when to trust, nor who to trust. How I miss 0924A, where everyone is real. Everyone is sensitive; I feel comfortable with them. They give me everything that I can offer them in return. But its now gone; then I ask myself, if I had made the right decision to leave?

Words can't express how much I miss them, and neither can miles, the distance we have already drifted. I am sad, but things are what they are now b'cus of the decisions I made. Its no one's fault; just a cruel joke heaven plays occassionally for humour. I don't wish to sound pathetic, but every day of my poly life I tell myself, "Tmr'll be a better day". Who am I trying to kid?

Claire's dealt me a big blow. I feel dumb because I do not know how to rebutt her sacarsm. I don't deny that she makes me feel small, I'm just mad as I'm not able to protect myself in a sacarstic return. What terrible shame, that I left her step all over me, flattening me into nothing more than a pancake; whilst I wasted precious seconds trying to process her sacarsm. Shame.

"I wish... the world was full of pink bunny rabbits."