Watching intently as the rain drops fell yesterday, I finally took time to sort out my incoherent mind. Everything was jumbled up, & for a moment I couldn't remember what I was doing in school in the first place. I realised, with the guidance of a special someone, that everyone does things for a reason. Not that I didn't know that before, but now I really know. Perhaps I was selfish, to not say it was my fault; to not tell them I had contributed to the idea. What had happened? What had gone through the minds of the ones we'd groomed? They suddenly seemed so different, so distant, so complex.

I couldn't comprehend, why they'd become like this or why they had entertained such thoughts. I couldn't fathom, why we're totally pushed aside or why we weren't entitled to know even just that little bit. I couldn't decipher, who had been in the wrong or why they're upset. I couldn't perceive, what was more important than the matter they had at hand. I just couldn't.

When it was around this time last year, we weren't like this. I remembered it was damn hard for us, but yesterday I realised, it might be harder for you. Now you see why we can't sign the form? Now you see why we might never be able to don on that white long-sleeved top and white skirt? Now you see why, because there's a communication problem. Even before we leave the school we have this problem. What happens after we leave?

Some are still stuck back in time. They keep digging up the past. Why repeat it when everyone's fine? Perhaps you want me to never talk to you again? You're unfathomable, just like I am to you. I missed that friendship once, but after yesterday passed, I am missing it no more. You guess why. I'd put it behind, & tried ways and means to help you too, but you chose yesterday, when I was all messed up to bring it up again. You hurt, but is it only you? You were the one who dug up all the miserable contents. I CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHY!

Currently, I still holding back, because I'm sieving my words. Afterall, others might be reading this, & I'm mindful of the impact it may cause if I phrase my words incorrectly.

Oh well, on a slightly happier note, I had one of the most soothing talks with Qh ystd. Man, that setting we had ystd might never come again!! A slight breeze, quiescent surroundings and an interesting topic at hand. Oh and not forgetting the background music coming from Pierce sec supposedly; everything blended together to grant us the perfect place for a light-hearted chat.

Also, it was Goh Yilin's birthday, they celebrated at drivethrough Mac. Some fantastic people chose our seat outdoors, you see, drivethrough Mac provides outdoor shelters where people can dine in as well. (: Not that dining outdoors is a bad idea, just that there's this irksome cat which freaks most of the girls at out table out. Especially Qh, & what made me start to laugh was her distinguished fear for that cat. I know I wasn't being nice, but a girl of 170++cm being afraid of a tiny, furry, cute cat and jumping about in fear was really comical. It was the first time Edna finished her meal before Qh, because Qh was busy avoiding the cat. Qh consumed her meal on tenterhooks as she kept an eagle's view of any approaching cat. Winny saved the 'damsel' in distress by carrying the cat more than once, out of our dining area.

After dinner, people took turns to produce jokes for entertainment, only that not all were funny. It wasn't till Vivian and Kewei left that Vivien started to tell her supernatural stories. It freaked most of us out when Yilin suddenly rose from her seat & screamed, like really screamed. However, turns out that it was just her thoughts making her afraid. We all left soon after, and Pearlyn grabbed my arm tightly as we proceeded to our bus stops.

That's basically all of yesterday. Happy birthday Yilin.