why? how come u just won't understand? i've grown up ler..u can't keep telling me what to do. i'll become even more rebellious. i hate ur naggings, ur scoldings, and ur whatever shit telling me to study and all. u think i don't know that i must study meh? i know when to study de...but u keep pushing me ..i can't stand it anymore..staying back in school keeps me away from this horrendous place. i just wanna go for camps, and stuff with my beloved friends..i know when to study for my piano and all.. but u still treat me like a little kid who don't know anything. i really wish i can grow up faster...do wad i want. u're overprotecting. haish..like i don't know what to do like that. sec 3 will be a stressful year, with tests, cca, piano and other stuff..but i know i'll be able to manage. if only u weren't there to stop me from doing things i love to do.

u said u guys were doing double because u all din teach us well..when u all should have been doing that from the start. hmm..wadever. u said we din try. u said our standard dropped. u said we become so slack. u think we did not try? yea..i pointed out that fact. the fact is....we tried ok? u think not? did u even know wad we did? did u even go try to see...quite disappointed..at the fact that u all just did not understand. somehow..we were dependant on ourselves..coz u all were nvr there for us. u were nvr there to comfort us..to really go through thick and thin with us..


just one question: did u every feel sad because of us before? did u? did u ever feel upset when something we did goes wrong? did u ever think of the fact that we were still juniors also and that we still need ur help? did u ever help us when we asked for or even begged for? no.


do u even know wad we are thinking? i guess not. because..we were thinking of working doubly hard..so as to regain our 3rd placing. do u know? u think we bo chab after the comp meh? u think we not stressed? because for u all...u all had ur seniors who really helped u all..but us. no..nothing..its that called unity? u all had someone there for u...but us..we have a junior batch to take..and we have no help from u all. i really dun wish to go on anymore la.. i sound very super nasty in this post lo..because it is obvious who i'm referring to. but....since i can't say it face to face..i might as well say it here..


and
why? can u change? seeing the fact that u are bringing the whole unit down? letting the whole unit suffer for u? or even with u...yea..its unity..but u can't expect them to do punishments with u the whole time. i'm sorry for telling u off. and sorry for losing my control.but i hope u will learn. they tell us not to help u all..so that u all can be independent..but when u all are struggling ...just can't stand by and do nothing. today.....2 ppl quarrelled because of u..they fought..and u made a few ppl cry. made them feel upset, miserable and disappointed. its not onnly the madms who are pekchek okkay? haish..no one understands how we feel. nvm...independent is goooood. is good. good.

had trng today..i don't know
can i dun talk abt it..hmmm..nvm..i know for sure maybe someone will be here and will see this...but i still feel like typing it la..haish ..its gonna be a POSITIVE post!!


as usual..fall in then report..it was a trng for us sec 3s to take..sec 1s are really CMI..can vomit blood..but sec 3s try lo...try very super hard can. please dun say we did not. den did PT supposed to be PT I/C with van..but then somehow become edna and van..haish..nvm..den after PT had footdrill..sec 3s were teaching sec 1s..while madms were taking sec 2s. apparently, the sec 2s were getting a lecture. and because they dragged their boots after being warned for the upteenth time..they had to march bare footed. digusted? nahh..its just abit diulian.


then madms ask sec 3s go fall in with sec 2s..leaving the one and only footdrill I/c edna..to teach the sec 1s. aiya...saw sec 2s in socks..so asked for permission to pei them..yea..i did it..but some how too fast..leaving no time for qh and yf to ask as well..sorry yea? and hai u all to be scolded as non-initiative ppl. really sorry! =((


yea..marched around in socks..cool eh. with ncc land and vb ppl staring at our beautiful yet smelly socks..hmm. then continued..which is when our GREAT thing started out..for every mistake we did wrong..whole squad auto down 5. and surprisingly..madms decided to do with us..no..do double of wad we did. and for the rest of the thing..don't need to elaborate. just pissed. and i got so disappointed and upset that i scolded him. haish ..nvm.


went home after that. felt so sick and tired man. but still gotto go out for a family thing with friends..stomach hurt badly..but ren. finally back to post le.. i warn u ppl..the next post ain't gonna be nice. =))

i hate getting scoldings for nothing..does it really make u happy to scold me? huh? i really don't understand.


trying not to complain..told some ppl to shut me up..ahhhh..everyone just shut me up. seal my mouth with tape so i won't talk at all.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY EDNA!! can't put the pics up now..but will put it up when i return hopefully..hope u have had a meaningful and happy birthday..put all unhappiness in the past yea? and move on..we'll always be there for u if u need it..so dun give up in everything u do..must stay happy and smile.. jiayous. =))

today was CNY celebrations..got lion dance and dragon dance in the parade square..den after it was over..we proceeded to the hall where more performances were held..not bad la..but quite alot of ppl were sian diao..den after recess-ed back in class..everyone was super down....for some reason...then decorated the class..i was not of much help la..coz i just sat down there and stone..but yea..den after sch...i suddenly disappeared..wow..no la..yf, bj, yh and me went to ask central to buy cake..while the rest pei edna go eat...their so called eat...is go there drink milo and stone..aiyo..dunno wad happen la.. den we ran from place to place in search of that oh-so-wonderful cake!! wow..okkay..den finally bought tiramisu cake..den after chiong back to sch just in time to 'suprise' edna..which she dun seem suprised at all..hmmmmm..nvm..then cork-up la...sian...but den we just took photos..den i cut cake for everyone..aiya..some ppl not co-operative la..give u cake..cut hao hao le..den just take la!! walao...nvm.. then...iso-ed for awhile for some reason... den went on to causeway..hmm they went to catch GHOST RIDER..while sam zh and me went to swensens for lunch..hmm..we had seafood chower..nice lo! then we ordered the topless 5..nice name man..haha..den ate it..but as u know..we for sure nvr finished de..but then do wad with the remaining?? yea...MIX IT TOGETHER!! and u get a sticky creamy liquid...awwww man.. okkay..and sam filled her little milk bottle with it..so ke xi..hmm.. and we went kiddy palace in search of new milk bottles... but dun have... den i went home..while sam and zh waited for the rest to finish their movie..


had to go home early coz need to finish up hmwk..going to malaysia tmr..sian..have to wake up at 3++ 4..so yups.. HAPPY early CHINESE NEW YEAR PPL!!! =))))


i don't know why u're doing this. i really dunno..i don't understand..can u at least tell me why. den i can try to understand..i'm trying my best le..but somehow u just don't seem to care. u said i wasn't nice enough to u..ain't i being nice to u now?? or is it too late? if it is..can u at least tell me? so that i don't need to try so hard.

just chanced upon someone's life in UG..after reading her post..i felt i could share her feelings..i don't know why. the feeling of being laughed at..by ppl whom u would have thought to be ur bestest of friends..but they actually backstabbed u..called u names. but they don't understand..they don't understand wad we are going through. just because we don't show it or tell..doesn't mean we don't get hurt..don't get upset. people who seem strong physically might not always be strong mentally. but this point no one understands. they just keep doing wad they are doing..they don't even care of wad's become of u.


in UG..everyone are trained to be strong..but surely it takes time to train..and during the process.. there is bound to be a time that u would feel hurt someway or another..and someone might be there to share it with u..and just as u think u could trust that person..because he/she had gone through lots of things with u..he/she just somehow disappeared. disappeared...changed..into another person..a person u could no longer recognise. time changes ppl..but why of all ppl..change this person u were just abt to put all ur trust and hopes into?


she had a passion..a passion towards her CCA. and everyone thought she was a superwoman..but they didn't know that even a superwoman would have her weakness..a point in time where she would be in a corner...crying. feeling sad..feeling hurt. but no one cares. that's because ppl are just so selfish. they only care abt themselves. and they call themselves best friends. a true friend would be by ur side no matter wad..to catch u if u were ever to fall..to pick u up when u drop. to hold ur hands and pull u along..and nvr to leave u if u needed any help. and as a leader..she is trying her best. but ...somehow.. its still not enough. maybe she is bias? and that's why she does not get full respect from all her cadets.


why will cadets wanna quit?? because they feel its no use continuing on in UG because they are not being treated equally. because some ppl rely on their relationship with the NCOs to get into the higher post. then wad abt those who really put in effort? those who really wanna see their unit prosper?? its not fair la..but some NCOs just dont understand..UG these days is getting so bad..even if there are alot of ppl joining..the unit will not be united. how to keep the cadets? the leaders will think...how do i plan a fun trng? UG should be disciplined...and not a slacking CCA..but the cadets don't feel this way. somehow..they just don't understand how we feel. we have so little ppl in our CCA now..and we are trying our UPMOST BEST already..we ask the sec 2s..try to get more ppl..but somehow..they just give us crap. i can see some are trying..but its only like 1 person who is trying..if not 2. why? why can't u all just see the need to recuit more ppl?!!!! WHY?! do u want to wait until the end of the year..and nearing the date for u all to take over then realise u don't want such a small squad. and then only start giving ur best into trying to get more ppl? why..why do this? when u can do it now.. there's still time..but u all just don't see it. and when we nag at u all..u all give us AP..u think its very nice to nag meh? u know how pekchek we feel anot? we really feel like giving up le u know? but...how? we r just about to take over. and there's already some problems..complications that u all don't understand yet. don't make the same mistakes as u la..get more ppl..expand the unit..can u all just try to understand for once? to put urself into our shoes? give ur best to this CCA..since u've already joined..there's no use thinking abt 'if only i hadn't joined UG'..just give ur best lo.


ahhh..i don't even know why i'm typing this post. its really no use la..i keep telling myself..i tried le...but i can't help but think its a bit of my fault that everything's wad it is now..that the unit has so little ppl..if only i had gone further out to getting more cadets..haish...maybe its too late?? but i'll keep trying. hopefully things will turn out better. for that her...i dun think u'll be reading this...but yea..dun think too much..some things are not worth u being upset with.

today had trng. super screwed. was I/C ..haish..sian got lesson. got materials, no classroom. den wanna play games, got ball, no court. SIAN!! but in the end improvised lo. no choice la. did footdrill in the 1st part of trng. taught the sec 1s basic, simple footdrills. vomit blood man. wonder how qingyu that batch teach us de. scream until no voice le la. waste my oh-so-precious voice. hmm. wadever. i'm bhb. x)


after footdrills, the was lesson. wow. that was nice. had all my materials. and in the end..no classroom for us to go to..had to run around whole sch in search of sam..intended to borrow class key frm sam..to open the door..but den found out she had IPP. den dunno where is she. den went back up to 3/4..and apparently..that bloody door was so WIDE open. well..nvm..i exercised. den rushed in and reported. long time nvr 'CLASS, KEEP STILL' le. den after that..sabo-ed yf to help me teach paying of compliments and reporting. the basic stuff again.
yf preached ......while i scribbled away..i din know my words on the white board are so ugly de. anyway..i wrote and wrote and wrote..finally finished le den can explain to all . sian..too bad no one was listening. wasted my voice again. why isit so hard just to get everyone's attention??? hmmm..well..saw the sian look on everyone's face..den tried to end the lesson as quick as possible. during our lesson..edna went to look for basketballs for us to play. and yea..as soon as we ended our lesson..i discovered a BIG problem..okkay..not really me..madm xinyu la..we got 2 BB balls..but.........NO COURT!! sian..super sian la..should have saw my damn face. well..finally went to DnT block there play..and during that time we were super screw up. everyone took such a long time just to get into 2 grps. well..its my fault again..for not getting them to do things quick. well...den i just stood there like a piece of rock..and madm weilin asked me wad happened. hmm..wad was i supposed to say???


we ended trng with the usual debrief. den told sec 1s to try on our boots. den tried on beret as well. took down their sizes and all..intending to buy uniforms for them as soon as possible..to make sure they have less chance of quitting. evil right? but its not my idea. x))
finally trng ended. and my leggys are so suan. can't even get up la..and got leg cramps. damn irritating. =))


to u...hope u change ur attitude..u've really changed. i really wish to see the old u.the enthu u. well..maybe its true that ppl will change over time. haish..its really up to u la..coz we can't do anything to help..we can't force u..it will make u hate us even more.

today was a normal day...initially was supposed to practise our talentime dance today...but had to postpone it....hmmm we had to go for volleyball match.. the match was okkay...first round amk was winning...den yifang was like we sure win de...isit the oppenent bad or amk good?? aiya.. but then the other 2 rounds..we lost by like a few points..sad...den everyone was like gua gua jiao-ing..coz haven't eat lunch. den after the match..me and yf went yishun de north point..eat mac. den talked and talked and talked..very shuang..i like that feeling.=)) thanks YIFANG!!!


and btw...i did something incredible today!!! wahahaha..=)))

today was another normal day....but....got MORE PICS!!

managed to take this during geog lesson..i rotated this pic which i took from under my table..i xing right?? x))

another pic of miss chin..opps

calvin?? bangala??

yifang...say 'ahhhhhh'

look at nat and not at ks

wad happened to edna??

nice hat nat

say hi nat!

who's our artist?

qh admiring the artwork.

yifang and 'shen cai'

nice work right? we've got a great artist amongst us! weeeee.

another one =))

after sch at 202. edna and qh so 'GLAM-LY' eating their prata

AAAAAA and edna bit a piece of her whole prata.

that's all for today i guess. =)) jiayous for amaths test tmr.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY yingxin!

oops.

there's something wrong with the blogger's time. i dunno why. why is everything so weird? nothing seems to be right anymore.

pictures taken ystd

juli and me!!

madm kexin and madm weilin

and.............finally edna and me!! =))) (do u see our forced smiles?)

why must we be sad over every major event? NDP 2006, fancy drill, footdrill comp. isit because we din do our best? but we tried wad. feelings are so hard to explain..why isit that some of us can just treat not winning as nothing..after we put in that much of effort? why? maybe u just dun care. or u don't wanna care. its up to u la. really hope u will think it over. or maybe u expected it?

today's the footdrill comp..kinda disappointed....yea. but with myself. we came to sch and prepared our uniform. to make sure it was in 'tip-top' condition.yea..arranged the badges and wadsoever..den helped d rest..polish boots and get their uniform ready. den wen we were done..we changed into our uniforms and boarded the bus. the bus was a turtle no more. this time..it was kinda huge. yea..so everyone had ample space. even though we could not sit.


reached EVERGREEN sec in time. and was ushered to our waiting room by the VIs. waited for super long time..and i was kinda down. qh noticed it. yea..thanks qh! =)) was scared la..den..finally managed to cool down after playing with the madms. haha..we started beating each other..den pretend is not we beat de..den quite funny la..jiu laugh and laugh ..


finally..after waiting for so long..we were asked to proceed down to the carpark or wad la..where we had UI. den we made a super big mistake! the sir ask us fall out..but he meant that our commander should besurai us..not for us to fall out..but we all gong gong go fall out..sian..i think minus marks le lo. den straight away moved on to the parade square where we had our real competition. haish..sir maurice did a great job! seriously! but yea well..i guess the squad did make some very super obvious mistakes too la. saw madm joanne when doing hanta in the squad..could see her face...it was SUPER BLACK. kkay..nvm..anyone who saw that will face black black oso la..haish..after the competition we went to the hall..where we waited for abt an hour. sat there and practically slacked. felt really bad then..and went into the so called 'stone' position..aiya..not depression la. den finally they had to announce the results. yea..as u know.we obviously din get anything..but..i think we tried la..esp maurice sir. CHEER UP SIR! =DD.


den after that we sort of went downstairs to wait for our bus..den by that time i was really feeling bad le la..rmb-ed last yr..where we could cheer becoz we had won smth..this year..i could only listen to others cheer .. but well..i guess we'll try harder next yr bahh..they all tried to say things to console us la..but ya..the more they say it..the worse i feel.


then our bus finally came. we took it and i slept through the journey. really sad then..coz i know i did some really big mistakes..really sorry ppl. its my fault. i'd rather u guys scold me den tell me its not my fault. that way i would feel better. reached school den changed out of uniform. ms chan and ms tan wanted to treat us to eat..so we all went kfc. den i actually wanted to stone there again de la..but ahh..somehow vanessa managed to make me laugh. and make me high. moodswings i guess. den we laugh until very jialat abt something..the MISS UNIVERSE -- weilin. dunno leii..every action she did me and van will laugh until very bad. and they ppl around us would stare at us. as in madm kexin and madm catherine. yea..really enjoyed the laughing la. at least make me forget the unhappiness. THANKS VAN! =)


after lunch..everybody went seperate ways. juliana, weilin, kexin and me went across to take 851/852/853. den in the bus..we talked la..but juli, kexin and me kept laughing at weilin. den chat-ted with them until yishun interchange. took bus home. really happy..yea. but i still miss my MOUNTAIN KIA. was super tired when i reached home la..coz this morning wake up at around 5 plus. but still managed to find time to blog. so yea...now gonna sleep le.. tired.


p.s thank u ms chan and ms tan for the meal. we still owe u something which we will give u on mon. (opps)

have some pics. taken long ago. but yea..just wanna put it up

xx and zh

zh arranging the billard balls

the guys doing forfeit

nat doing his forfeit

madm weilin ( before trng)

i'm wearing ahma's shoe

ahma's wearing my shoe and i'm wearing hers

our beloved AHMA!!

had trng today. many ppl came back. not really alot lar..but madm wenjia, qingyu and joanne came back. we practised lar..footdrills and more footdrills. tmr's the competition le..but we're like somehow still lagging. but ya..really hope to get something out of the comp lo.


their presence made me feel abit out of place leii..esp madm qingyu. just not used to her staring at us. but well..she watched our performance out of the corner of her eye..super kong bu la. and once i zao xia..shit la. very xia suay. but yea..other den that okkay la. so hope tmr will be smooth going.


everybody..who is in the footdrill comp! jiayou! we put in so much effort le..so we must definitely do it de! we can achieve smth de! (: (am i bluffing myself?) haish. we'll just give our best shot..wadever the outcome will be...will be. everyone..take care of urself..drink lots of water and sleep early. (:

today.


lunch-ed at yoshi with ppl. namely qh, yf, edna and JULIAN! hmm..wonder why i put julian's name in caps. hahaha.. anyway..had funny talks with them today. and qianhui calls me BROKEYBACK!! and BAPOH MOUNTAIN!! oh man..and now i go around calling ppl brokeyback! hahaha..super funny. and the rest were talking abt wad drinking wad hua jiu...for more info..ask qh...hahahaha..coz i dunno how to explain. den they moved on to the subject of birthday presents. then we each said wad we wanted for our birthday...hahaha..actually not everyone said la..only yf and qh said..den in the end..went home with yf..while edna.... JULIAN and QIANHUI went to shop around for stuff..talked to yf abt some stuffs in the mrt..cool man. i love it!! hahaha thanks yf. so yea..that's it for today's post. ((:

had trng ystd..chiong lunch..coz got trng at 3 and sch ended at 2.30. sian..we chiong chiong chiong..in the end no need wear uniform..=(( haha..anyway..had a super duper chao ji bad stomach pain. really pain until cannot ren le la..if can ren..i will definitely ren de..but dunno why..ystd de is excruciating pain la. hmm..anyway..thanks for the concern everyone..and of course..rabbit de chu xian made me feel abit better. thanks ppl. then manage to skip abit of trng..coz our 'dear' commander dowan let me fall in..haha . trained on our footdrills. really hope we can get something in the footdrill comp la. or not will be a super big let down. well..the competition is in ONE DAY!! oh my gosh..well. we can do it de!! jiayou ppl for footdrill comp.! yea.


this post is super short. but yea..the FOCUS is my stomach pain.wahahaha..but ahh..coz other than that..i couldn't think of any other thing to write? and btw..got our badges le..very very happy..now can guang ming zhen da de wear my uniform le..got badges le ma!! hahaha..jkjk.
and tmr there's trng..hope it wun cock up. well..all the best ppl. and madm jacquelyn..please come back!! PLEASE?! =((

today was trng..was quite happy..and high..coz the strength was good..jialin and yiling came. really a BIG relieve to know we wun be disqualified from the competition. we will at least clinch a bronze in the north district de..we must.


madm joanne came back today. even though she's like JC le..and becoming a VI..still feel that feeling..like when we were still madm and cadet. that closeness. that feeling..its coming back. well..i gues it shows strong friendship can withstand the test of time..even with other ppl..not just her.


so..continued with trng..practised hard..bang-ed super hard..and arms aching..but it will pay off.
they gave us a break again..for breakfast. but some ppl din go..took the time to talk..=)
den after they came back..we continued practising..den because it drizzled..the parade square was wet..den aft it stopped raining..den we practised in the paraade square..had abit of fun splashing water on each other..well..at least we laughed..and smiled.


after trng was over..we 202-ed again. ate den proceeded home. went to buy physics book..haish..waste money again..but well..really no choice den buy de..thanks juliana and yf..for pei-ing me.


talked with them in mrt..i like these little talks..coz they help us bond. i think i said that before. =)) anyway..wednesday need wear full RC uniform. must get ready everything..in case on that day forget bring this forget bring that..den for sure kana pumped le.


and the competition is just next week..really hope we can make it. so as not to disappoint those who have high hopes of us. jiayou everyone..esp the commander..whom i seriously pity. oops

so stressed-up. is the whole world turning against me? the feeling of being thrown down from heaven to hell. sometimes..some ppl can make hell for us. i just dunno why.. did we owe them something from our past lives? u tell me.

sad, upset, disappointed. why must this happen.. now? because of some ppl..all our hard work has gone down the drain..even though if this arrangement is not confirmed yet..there is a high chance of it happening..and if that happens...our effort will all go down the drain. =(((


had a meeting just now..wahh..sucks man..could feel the atmosphere..everyone was down..haish..after meeting..we could not take it le..i suppose we broke down? sec 1s..please come..please come..our unit is dying..please..dun make it dao..if more ppl turn up tmr..i'm sure our unit can stay on de..please...and those who din come for footdrill trng..can please come? i said PLEASE! if u wan..i can go beg u!!!! just..please come..u know..just because u din come..we all can't enter leii..even if u dun think of improving ur drills..think of the rest can? can CAN??! haish ...everything sucks at this point of time.


really can't take it le..there are so many tests coming up..den some teachers can't even teach.. and is like piano exams are coming up..really stressed up..i can't even play the pieces properly?
wadever..really RRRRAAA..well..tmr's trng..and sec 1s coming..can we have more than just a mere 4 ppl?? for once..p-l-e-a-s-e.

today trng..hmm..strength no good..yf, qh, edna, vivien, jialin and me onli..so sad. they gave us a breakfast break..of 20 mins. we went macs ..but a few of us din eat. den rushed back..continued with trng..footdrill all the way.. ms chan has been very nice..all the footdrill comp trng..she has been treating us drinks..super nice..thanks ms chan!
den trained alot le..they let us play sports games..played basketball..with sir maurice..shoot shoot shoot..FUNN!! hhaha..coz can tyco get the ball in the hoop. hahaha after that..still continued trng..for awhile..this trng was abit slack la..actually quite slack ..hahabut we bonded la..like there was time to bond..talked abit..ya..den we finished trng early but had to stay back to settle the workshop thingg..to decide who go which course/workshop. den around 2.30..we went to eat lunch..at 202..our favourite hangout..haha.. ate..den walked to mrt..with yf and xy.. talked..crapped..i like it. bonding..time spent together..its important. =))


reached home..talked alot today..to ahem. haha..i just wanna tell u..whether u read this post or wad..u can do it de..dun hesitate..dun regret things that u did. wad has happened is over. dun regret coz it din turn out well..but because it even happened..do think things over in future..dun be too rash..and end up hurt again..and rejected. dun be too softhearted..know when its time to hold on ..and when to let go..cherish ppl around u. life's like this..so hang on.be strong..jiayou..anything can tell me de..so..stay happiie..and smile! =)))

just came back from the 3 day 2 nights camp. was okkay..it helped us bond together..3/3 '07. hope it will be a better year for all of us. and the sun was super hot. now i'm red. esp my nose. haha. black too. my neck hurts. sunburn. haha..well..


camp wasn't that good..a lot of cock ups..some due to the rain. and some because of some ppl. haish..a few ppl shed their tears because of that. as in our class not being united..and killing the frog thing. haish.. through this camp..could see who were the ones who r really helpful and all. esp when it came to area cleaning..those who cleaned the toilets were those who were really good. and while these ppl were cleaning the toilets..some others were down there slacking. sucks la..k..nvm.. and the trainer muh muh..he was nice la..nice ..den keep calling yx and pat darlings..den we were like...ooooooooooo. den keep teasing them..sorry yx. den ya la..the trainer really put in alot of effort into helping us. so..really very good. thanks ahh muh muh. =)))


den there r things that make me really dislike camp. coz the toilets and canteen was super dirty..due to the rain..the rain made all the leaves come in..den ppl anyhow step..den got so much dirty water..eeeeee so erxin. den did kayaking rafting..the high rope elements..zipline..and all the other things..rockclimbing and abseilling..den the campfire..was quite fun la..coz everyone performed..den everyone shouted their lungs out. now voice abit wavered. hahaha


when we finally so call 'break' camp..we took the bus back to amkss..den changed..and wadever..den chiong to kfc..oh yah..talking abt food..the camp food is okkay..not bad..some ppl say they give too little food..while others say they give too much..okkay..den back to kfc..me sam and van carried our bags..so heavy den we cannot take it le jiu call.......CAB! we cabbed to kfc..and paid like 3 dollars..hahah..ate to our fill at kfc la..everyone upsized their meals..haha..


den tmr got trng..footdrill comp de. we can do it de!! jiayou jiayou jiayou. haha =)))

ystd had footdrill competition trng..was okkay..trained quite hard..now body aching. btw..this is not complaining okkay? haha. ystd was quite down coz...felt disappointed in someone. really put alot of trust and hopes in this person. but this person..purposely shut the phone..dun even pick up la. i thought u were those responsible ppl who would call back to say why u couldn't attend trng. u promised me ystd u would come. but wad..u broke ur promise? why? i trusted u..that u would come, but this is wad u give me. i really dunno why. can u prove to me that u really had something on ystd..and had to shut the phone? to not make me feel so disappointed that u broke ur promise and all? i'm still trying to think that u had a much much valid reason for not turning up ystd. so please tell me that u really had something on ystd k?


the rest of the trng..madm qingyu came. she drilled us real hard. but i really think we have improved alot. as in our bangings. it is no longer like bird droppings le. but now the main thing is to improve our dressing, and armswings. i believe with that another few more percent of effort..we will be able to do well in the footdrill comp. den ms chan oso qing we all drink water. so good lo. first time man. haha ..we were supposed to thank ms chan at the end of the trng i think..but then din see her..so now....THANK YOU MS. CHAN ..=)))


and madm qingyu oso deserve thanking oso la..she came all the way down just to help us. well..unlike some others. nvm. den the yck de jingkai sir oso came down ..coz i think madm xinyu call him come down de. we were supposed to thank him for his help rendered on CCA open house that day. den after thanking dunno where the madms took him to la. but we continued drilling lo. den after trng over..waited for the madms ..so that we could go home together. then stopped by out side GG room there. GG madms were tekaning them. some of them had to stand outside the GG room for like almost an hour. and i think some of them oso nvr eat lunch la! den lidat put them..they nvr faint den is weird lo. but i think most of the guiders are strong de lo. so they all pulled through la..but i think the madms should occasionally come out and check on the welfare of the cadets.


and i think the GG tekaning was abit not right la. as in wad the madms told the cadets. most of them came out crying. really feel like going to comfort them..and when sam came out..she hugged me..telling me she will REN for cheryl..haish..could see tears in her eyes la..but she said she wun cry..but she made me even more scared la..i was like telling yifang alot of stuffs..until the guides were dismissed. we all went home together. yf and xy took bus to mrt ..while me sam and wl took 851..talked alot..thanks ahh...u-know-who. for ur encouraging talks. even though u might have said them to make me feel better..but it really did help la..thanks once again.



after chatting to edna ..found out that we should not place too high hopes on the sec 2s. because they are bound to disappoint us. and to sec 2 nicolas..even though u r e only boy..since u have joined..make ur best out of it. dun be disheartened because of wad others say..it will only make u feel worse..i know saying this might seem easy..but it might be quite hard for u..anyway..jiayou k?? if u come to trng..we wun leave u out de. =))

i tried..i really tried..to hold back my tears. to be strong as someone asked me to be. but i went around reading blogs. everyone is so depressed. as depressed as i am. can't help but cry in front of the computer when i read their posts. i tell everyone to stay strong..but i myself am breaking down.


i controlled my tears ystd. after the fancy drill. edna told me not to cry. i stopped. i tried my best at talking to the sec 1s. to persuade them to join. we said some things that we not true abt our CCA. i don't wan to make anyone cry because i was crying. but now, at home, there's no one to see me crying. i can cry. tears just keep rolling down. i still dun get it. will anyone tell me why?

sorry vanessa, sam, and the others..u guys created that one single chance for me..but i totally ruined it. i seriously want it. but u know..when u have that little heart of urs beating so furiously..if u go out there..ur heart might just break..i can't do it..maybe i'm still not ready. and i don't know why. its so hard for me just to say hi to ____. i guess everyone's had that kinda of feeling before. its normal i guess. just that not everyone shows it. its just that kind of respect and admiration for that person.

i think there's not much time left too. one day they will all leave this school. but there's nth i can do to stop it.

suddenly feel so lonely in this world..everything's crashing down on me. only with the love of those who care for me can make me strong again. its just pure stress. and at the beginning of the year. can't stand wad i see in the classroom 3/3 everyday. and our Red Cross unit. as wad they said..its getting weaker and weaker by the year. how to make it strong again?? with such strength. sometimes i feel...being a cadet forever will be the best. but it will nvr happen. and look at the sec 1s. haish. there's footdrill comp. round the corner. they wan us to get at least bronze..to maintain..or better. u think its that easy?? and studies...they r the most stressful. everyday...she's nagging. getting quite sick of it. den still got piano. haish. practical and theory. i have to pass. emphasis on HAVE. i'm trying u know. trying.. but still have the will to carry on. because i know i must. and i will. that smile..that happy face...is just a front to cover wad's inside. when can i be really happy?? to smile like i used to. to be wad i was last time. those innocent times. and those friendship bonds. i miss them all. i really do.

that feeling ..when u know that they are disappointed with u but they r not showing it..but and when u know u have tried ur best. seriously la... if u think u're so good..why dun u try it urself? we have put in so much effort, but u all still think we're still fooling around. and we're not okkay? how to get high when all this shit is happening?


and u tell me..is it right to lie? if not, why do u all lie too? why do u wan to drag others into the suffering that we're going through right now? i dun get it. is it really right to do that? u're dragging others into the water la. i seriously dun wish to do that. i dun wan others to be going through the same fate as us. i dun wanna bluff them. i wan them to do it of their own accord. but....there's no choice..we have no say. so that's that.


i know i'm not the only one going through this. there r others who r going through this too right? but just glad to know i'm not alone feeling this sickening feeling.


please dun push me to do the wrong thing..i just feel its not right. coz we still lied. and u all know it.

today's the fancy drill/CCA open house. arrived in school at abt 6.45. put down our uniforms den went to set up our stuff. i was the i/c for today. kinda suay la. haha. reported in mufti..den was asked to help out at our booth.we all rushed to the booth. there was quite alot of things to set up.
after setting up..mdms ask us change to full uniform. we changed..and were given guard belt to wear!! super happy. coz its super nice. ahahaha. den we managed to get to practise our full fancy drill one last time b4 the real performance. we did it...den returned to our booth..only to find out that many VIs and sirs from HQ had come. its like quite pressurising la..den mdm qingyu was quite disappointed la. u ask me..disappointed abt wad...i will tell u..she disappointed abt our everything..from banging our boots to holding our poles properly to becoming enthu/high. haish..


den very fast den was our turn le. so anxious can. even the NPCC sir dropped his flag la.. SIR le leii..still drop..den we all still cadets ma..but we did our pole thingy quite well..no one dropped. so heng la. or not will very xia suay. but the only thing is...we lost timing. den after the whole thing, everyone become very down. mdm xinyu said 'i can see u all tried ur best.' walao. make me feel even worse can..haish. den mdm qingyu spoke to us. haish. could see it was gonna be a long day. classes came and went, but few ppl signed their names. everyone tried their best to encourage the sec 1s to join. the mdms and sirs who did the demo was super bang!! pei fu they all. well..everyone tried to act high ..but i think shi bai la..coz we were tired...legs so tired..den can't sit..hahaha..den no choice..gotto 'ren'.


den interacted with lots of ppl..haish..finally dismissed at around 3++. before that...i had to give them uniform inspection seh...den the mdms keep 'samula-ing' ..haish..den after that had to 'besurai' them...then keep got problems..den 'samula' again..but in the end..managed to do one nice one. den we were dismissed.


ms chan said our fancy drill was super good. but u think it is? or isit just something said to make us feel better?? i seriously dunno.

thursday and friday had fancy drill training ..as well as preparing for sat's CCA open house. mdm wenjia came back on both days to train us. den ahh..everytime we wan to use parade square practise....jiu got NPCC de ppl there...like so zhor dang. fine. mr siva booked the WHOLE parade square. smart lo. anyway..it started to rain. and guess wad, NPCC went to the shelter and they came back to the parade square looking like little blue and orange riding hoods. its damn funny la. we were there laughing. =DDD so evil right. fine. then we continued practising our fancy drill. was okkay le..just that sometimes ppl will drop their pole. then the timing oso not clear/loud enough. den mdm wenjia will scold. =(( haish.


den practise and practise and practise. well..fancy drill is seriously much much more fun den normal trng..hahaha.. went home late after these 2 days. super duper tired la. x))) well..tmr's the real fancy drill!! jiayou ppl!! we can do it de...WE WILL WIN THE WAR..red cross, girl guides!! wahahahaha..love UG!! =))))

fancy drill trng ystd and today. kinda fun...at least better than normal trng.. oops. =DDD
added new things to the drill. during thursday trng...mdm joanne came back..wahh disaster..oops.hope she dun see. after trng, helped out to do orientation stuff..and do reports for syf and north district camp.


friday trng worse..had to bring uniform..den only me and vivien bring..haish..den kena scolding lo...like kinda of xia suay..coz GG de ppl all oso wear gg uniform..den us leii..only me and vivien wear.haish..den in the end kena scolding.. me and vivien enjoyed pumping and lvl 1 position..while the others enjoyed 100 over pumpings. haish..hopefully i know which is right and left le..=(((( den after that changed back into normal mufti.. and continued trng.. den GG de mdm wanjoo, mdm shuian shuian and mdm weiling came back.. felt abit sad becoz only mdm joanne came onli..den our other mdms leii?? haish. all nvr come..they all say will come..but still nvr come..=(((( den after trng we went eat lunch...eat until so shuang..hahaha . den eat le we went back help to draw more plaster and hang the banner. but some parts of the wall still haven't paint..so can't hang banner..den came down to help draw plaster and complete the poles thing..to put pictures de..mdm joanne in charge..den draw plaster awhile le..den mdm wenjia came..to talk to mdm xinyu they all..haish..well..wad happen after that......forget it. den sat there awhile le..i went to help mdm joanne tie the pole thing..saw mdm joanne so xi xin.. oops..can see u really love redcross alot! k..anyway..jiayou for ur VI course k???


haish... so xia suay ahh today..but not gonna elaborate..so cya ppl!! and fancy drill coming..we must not xia suay ourselves to other UG and the sec 1s..so everyone do ur best k!! xD


p.s I'M NOT LES!!!!!!
pp.s happy birthday vivien!!!!!! =DDDDD

hahahahaha..damn happy now!!! NOW NOW NOW!!! yea! talked to 'her'...through sms..haven't seen her for so long le........=(( but yea...as she promised..she will come back. and i think i'm still believing her now. coz she said that in her blog a long, long, long time ago. but ya..i have faith in her!!! =DDD


aww..her poor little teeth. going to undergo braces. hahahahah. well good luck ya? and bear with the pain. =)))

had fancy drill training today. quite fun. learn new things. like turning the pole..quite fun lo..find that someone frm GG has changed for the better le..really happy to see that..even though we not same UG..but u will still feel better for that other UGian.
after trng..went to eat lunch at 202. ate le den vanessa went home, edna oso..qh went to buy cd or something la..


sam, yingxin and me went suntec..to visit ******.. i know i shouldn't say it here..but i still must say it..really disappointed to see yx and sam disappointed. ******..why did u have to put it so zhi jie (straightforward)...whywhywhy..u know can make ppl feel so upset and disappointed de ma...they were so excited at the tot of it k..and u had to make them feel like their trip here was wasted..WE CAME HERE SPECIALLY TO SEE U!! okkay?!!! fine..shan't go on abt it le..


anyway..christmas is coming!! =)) wish everyone a early merry christmas!! =DD

haish..did i choose the wrong class next year??? did i? did i?


u..yes u..everytime zhen dui me de..haish..can't we for once dun like dislike each other?? i know u dislike me.....but u think i like u oso meh??! walao..u make it sound like everything is my fault!! why ahh..


i not good enough to be in 1/2' 05, 2/2 '06 ahh..huh. u say it like its lidat ..but i ren..ren ren ren....ren very long le..coz i love this class..i love my friends.. i just wan u to know that i will put up with ur hatred towards me..i will R-E-N!!! for the sake of my beloved classmates. i tell u!!! =DD

arrgghh..feel so useless now..there's not one single thing that i can do right in life..i really dunno wad i'm doing now. and when there's problems..there's not one single person that i can tell them to..haish..maybe the suo wei 'close'..may not be that close as well.. no one know's me 100%..and i dun know anyone 100% either..well..maybe i'm just not reliable..or i can't rely on others..or maybe both..

i know its abit late to blog abt our trip to iceskating..hahas..but i'm still gonna blog.. we went ice skating on wednesday..went with xx, sk, arifin, edna, julian, qh, yf and bj. bj came back frm taiwan and bought damn cute chocs! she give me one which is in the shape of a plaster. damn cute!! thanks beijia!! =DD den met at yew tee before proceeding to jurong east. reach le we skated until abt 2. me and edna helped qh yf and bj..coz they still abit unstable on the ice..but bj learn super fast la..she still abit unstable..but she can go on her own le..qh can skate quite gd le..but yf still abit scared..coz she fell the last time we came..den she scared might fall again.


den the guys oso beginner but they like skate very fast lo..everytime we wan go over to find them, they jiu go to the other side of the rink..super funny. =)) den skate skate skate..den xx and qh feel like going kbox.
they so enthu la..the rest were like okkay..lets all go together! but sk din wan go..he wen home..ALONE! aww..den we went into the kbox room..quite big la..den the enthu pair..xx and qh..start to dian ge (pick songs) den they sing sing sing..while edna bj and me we singing without the microphone. den yf ahh..wahh..disaster! haha..she keep making all the funny noise..den qh say she sound like she sha ji (killing chicken)..damn funny la..den then sing sing sing..until 4..bj went home by herself..den 4.30..i gtg le..den actually suppose me xx and fin go home i think..den in the end..everybody go home..hahas..but i like express train lidat..chiong go home..while the rest take their time..coz had to go home to do piano..sianx. but overall..had a very fun day!! thanks edna!! =DD


ahh..proposal..die die die..sure got alot of AOP following that de..WELFARE!!! have to check stretcher and 1st aid kit. =(( wahahaha..
but......anything.....to get more recruits next year! xD

juliana..read all ur tags..felt kinda upset over them.. its so hard u know..i dunno if anyone except me and edna and the others understands..being a senior is so so so hard. we are forced to keep a distance for u juniors because we are going to be mdms soon. is that a good enough reason?? its like very hard to just nurture the bond that we have now lo..we are considered close? are we? i guess so right.. and then by next yr we have to keep a distance from each other. i know u feel scared of coming trng..and its like every trng onli got 3 sec 1s come..standard one..u, chonxi and vivien. haish..like abit pathetatic hor?? i know u join rc is to pei yiling de..and in the end she din come, make u disappointed right? but there's no turning back once u've joined..just make the best out of it .. see..u've made so many new friends right? so many new seniors..including other UG ppl. there's good and bad lo..

i understand ur feeling..that feeling of coming to trng just to kena 'knock it down', scoldings.. and mdm's unhappy faces. i oso have that feeling ma..i think everybody does..or not why u think we always feel like ponning..we did think of ponning..but in the end still go ma..so..just keep peservering..the tot of c*** should keep u going on wad.. everytime i feel tired of trng..i will think of all the nice seniors..ex-mdms, sirs..haish..that will keep me going lo..

so..wadever it is..do rmb that we all wun p.s u all de..even after we become mdms..we will show the current mdms that we can make it de..and we are not as bad as they say! =DD


p.s hope no sec 3s see this. (i think will not hor??)

i know its been a long time i din blog.. and my last post sounded very vulgar.. hahas..got irritated by some things.


today had trng. was okkay..better den other trngs..sec 2s get to become commander..mdms wanna train our voice. den shout shout shout..dunno ltr will get sore throat anot.. haish..like edna said..its hard to become a gd senior.. true ma.. u too fierce..juniors will talk behind ur back.. and they will give attitude. u too lenient.. they climb over ur head. haish. and its like 4 more months b4 we take over.


had our first interview today..wasn't such a success.. i dunno wad they trying to do..wad the mdms say are so CONTRADICTING can..aiyo..anyway..edna got it real bad..hope ur fine now girl..


aiya..we must really buck up on monday fancy drill trng.. or else we sure die again de..=DD and F.Y.I ..we DON'T make EMPTY PROMISES okkay!! we shall show u all that! =))

p.s tmr's ice skating..hope my mummy let me go..=))

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so damn fucked right now.

time flies. all that's left is still memories.

as i went back in time, i saw how lucky i was.

but perhaps i took it for granted,

and the seconds on the clock just continued ticking.


pictures of that album of memories just flew by,

oblivious to the surroundings, i started appreciating my past.

all that ever happened, and all there is now..

i'd rather my past. but is there a way to make things better?


i ask myself everyday, wad's the purpose of life.

when in the end u will still die.

but den i think,

if i die, i wun be able to see those i love.


10 more days before i come back..waiting for our honeymoon.. my dear laopo..hope u see this.
thanks for being there for me...i dunno if wad u said wad true..or it was just said to make me feel better..anyway..thanks alot. =))

today..watched 2 shows in a day..so shiok..hahas..watched casino royale and step-up with my cousin sis. both shows quite nice..


i'm super bored..and when i got nth to do..i start to think..to think of stuff.. to think of ******..haish...why why why why.. and there's not many ppl online..redcross de all go camp le..ncc air de oso go posting camp..haish..den the others go work.. i need to find something to do to kill time.. i wanna go back singapore..=((


and nobody tags..why?? i oso dunno why..=((

hey ppl...i know i haven't blogged for a long time..since the starting of work till now..i haven't blogged..busy lo..not work jiu shi training...or piano lesson.. for redcross..there's fancy drill and footdrill comp. coming up..den piano..got practical and theory coming..haish..work is oso driving me kuku..everyday seeing batteries only..except for the days we do the manual ****** pump thing..hahas..but earned over a hundred dollars for a few days work..hahas.. now currently in malaysia..playing? eating? slacking? sleeping? hahas..i guess is all bah...and is like work le den got money...den u know wad right..SPEND!! hahas..kidding la..nvr spend yet..


and coz gonna be in malaysia for abt 2 weeks..will miss amksian open house..its tmr..hope alot of p6s will come..and the worst thing is gonna miss red cross annual camp..not that i particularly like camps..(actually i hate them) but it is during camps that we bond..and bond really well..haish...camps make us closer la..and this is like the 1st ever redcross camp that the sec 3s will be taking..and i'm so gonna miss it...haish..miss the tekanning sessions..hope the sec 1s can endure the tekan..u all must hor...even if left the last bit of energy..still hold on..i will help u all add oil!!


ahh..and another thing..i'm already starting to miss all my friends le...really hope can see them quickly again..but it seems nobody's missing me..gonna be all alone again..

fancy drill training today. so pek cek with some ppl..red cross people know damn well. =)) hahas. girl guiders know too! ..2/2 guides..i know how u guys feel le..haish..practised again and again..GG mdms everytime not happy. not i wann say or wad larr...is just erm...i feel..abit not right lo..well..scold for no reason? when they din even bother to find out wad is wrong? haish..suddenly find our RC ncos very very nice. hmm.. should i be saying this?..hhahas. anyway.. had quite a fun time today larr.. turning the drill stick and doing the practise with music. manage to learn quite alot. those who din turn up for this training..u guys got lots to learn!! must jiayous! and wad's more..footdrill competition is approaching. i so wanna be reserve!! u guys know the reason. even mdm xinyu does. but she refuse to let me change place with vivien..=(( haish. anyway..we must jiayou for this footdrill com. dun let the ex-mdms who have high expectations of us down..RED CROSS!! we will do it de..=))


p.s thank you red cross ncos for telling us that u guys will be there and dun let the others bully us!! XD love u guys!

came back from chalet yesterday..quite tired..but I LOVED THE CHALET! hahas..a million thanks to yifang and qianhui, the organisers. and not forgetting edna too..hahas she helped too.. chalet was abit small..but yea..small den cosy ma! ahh..reallie had alot fun lo..after reaching..we unpacked den stripped into our *** ..hahas and went to swim. damn funny larr.. the gurls were in their *** and fbt shorts in the pool. den swim finish jiu BBQ..hhahas..lots of ppl helped out. they started the fire den BBQed. everyone had fun i tink.


we stayed up the whole of the 1st night. did the red cross half-day camp proposal. it was a long night if not for qianhui's lameness. she was super hungry i tink. den she started the helicopter thing. damn funny larr..the wad 'teke teke teke' thing..hahas. we chatted but most of the ppl in the room were like half awake onli. and another thing..which was verii funny. yifang! hahas. she was real tired. and she slept on the table! we tried waking her up using all kinds of reasons...like got fire, herr dad come pick her up, call her chio bu..and lots of other stuff!! hahas..but she din even budge! and the worst thing is someone took a video of her...damn funny. den at the end of the video, all of us shouted, YIFANG!!! damn loudly..and SHE DIN EVEN BUDGE! hahas..oops..sorriie yifang for posting such a paiseh thing here..hahas..forgive me kkay..=)) den jiu rely on this kind of things to keep us entertained.


at 5++ 6..we went downtown east the mac eat breakfast. so shiok..hahas but me and caryn stomach abit not good. coz i tink eat oily stuff early in the morning den lidat..went back to chalet and we slept! hahas. squeezed onto the beds. the rest chatted awhile b4 changing into their swim suit and jump into the pool. almost all went except a few..which is me, edna, cynthia, caryn and i tink clara. we were on the bed. hahas. caryn and clara was sleeping while me, edna and cyn spent alot of time laughing. cyntold us to look at caryn..she looked so cute! hahas.next time i shall post the pic! hahas. i'm evil! kkay..den after awhile..i decided to swim. went to swim for awhile. verii nice. the guys went too. we like hogged the pool..coz no one around. hahas. after that some ppl showered. some other went to sleep or wad. den we go downtown east food court eat lunch. i ate a cold dessert..hahas. den we went cycling!. but cycle awhile jiu started to rain. so sad lo!.. so returned the bikes and went back to chalet. the second night was erm.......hahas. they went 'red house'. haish..hahas..they came back den talked abt their stories. i was tired and decided to go sleep. got onto the bed and fell asleep straight away. slept till next morn. hahas. woke up and went downstairs. couldn't get down coz the steps were full of ppl....sleeping ppl. so went back up. den waited awhile den went to the chalet restaurant or shop to eat breakfast. after eating, we went back to pack up. den we left the chalet at 11++ 12. me and caryn decided to go library talk. bus-ed to amk library with her. talked abt lots of things. hahas. talked even more in the library.


reached the library den had a feeling will see shou(3) ren(2). hahas..den reallie got see seh. saw mdm joanne. she came with her friends to study. she walked past me and caryn and i looked away. like heng she nvr see me lo. but in the end she still walked back..purposely walked in front of me..hahas.. almost gave me a heart attack! =D den me and caryn talked and talked. hahas..i had 2 cups of ice-blended coffee..gonna get fat soon. while caryn had an oreo cheese cake or wad larr..and 2 cups of ice chocolate! hahas..wahh..we ate alot right? den ahh.. more suay! mdm xinyu oso came with her friends.after conquer Os. she oso came down find mee..i oso almost got heart attack! =)) den borrowed 2 books..brought home to read. =)) i'm guai! hahas..


den reached home jiu chiong the half-day camp proposal..called up the sec 1s but all nvr pick up phone. so called and called. but no ans..den went to sleep at abt 11++ 12. woke up late....verii late. hahas..details about trng i will blog tmr!! i'm lazy! =p hahas. cya and take care ppl!


p.s caryn ..must remember our bet!

hello ppl! i know i haven't blogged for a long time..u could say i'm lazy..hahas. coz went out with my dears like almost everyday lo!..hahas. we went bowling, shopping, library, my house, caryn's house and also vanessa's house...and lots of other places larr! hahas. that was from after end of EOYs. wahh..should be broke le right? nahh...thanks to zhanhong! he paid for our bowling..we played like 4 or 5 games i think..and he payed for all of us to play 4 or 5 games each larr! damn rich lo! we inspected his wallet and found he brought $130++ that day! so envious! hahas. den played basketball at my house and went skating at caryn's house. had real lots of fun! thank u darlings! love u guys lots lo! hahas..thinking of all of u everyday!


ppl! i'm reallie looking forward to chalet with u all! hopefully can see all of u there!...u know wad..i am reallie happiie that i met all of u.. 1/2 '05 and 2/2 '06..so love it now! looking back at the memories..reallie sad to have to part with u all..but hope we can still remain as close as ever...u guys make my day..=)) love u all!

got back results..now fretting over wad class to choose.. dunno which subject combination is the best.. so gonna miss my friends. reallie wanna make a special mention to those ppl who cheered me up on tuesday after e results.


yifang: thanks for giving me advice and spending ur whole PE lesson trying to cheer me up


beijia: u too! thanks alot. ur advice has given me the courage to move on. i will work harder de.


edna & qianhui: hahas. thanks for telling me not to cry anymore..coz its no use crying! hahas..i will try to follow that. love u!


caryn: u r a good advicer...i love all ur wondeful talks ..u know..sometimes a word from a friend can be verii encouraging..it helps alot..i reallie appreciate it. =))


glenn: who keep telling me to be more brave? thanks..i will de.


samantha: thanks for all the times u have spent with me..all these wonderful memories will always be with me. theres so much to write for u..so shan't crap here..hahas.


eunice, theora and val: for cheering me up..to tell me not to cry anymore.


i tink there are a few others..but sorrie if i had forgotten to put u guys' big big name here! =(( anyway..just wanna tell everyone that the times spent in 2/2 has been the most wonderful time of my life. i dunno how to pen down my tots..but u guys have reallie brightened up my life these 2 yrs..reallie dun wanna go diff. class with u all..reallie wished that we could move up as one class. but i know its impossible. reallie hope that u wun ever forget that u ever had me as ur classmate .. THANK YOU EVERYONE IN 2/2 for all that u guys had done for me.. i will reallie miss all of u next yr. rmb me okkay? please?

farewell assembly yesterday...went with samantha to orchard -- wisma, taka, and still got dunno where larr..searched for cards, and chocs for the sec 4s. we rushed the whole time..coz we had to be back at sch at 1 to lend ties to joanne. so bought the stuff den mrt-ed back to amk..took taxi frm mrt station den sat at mac to wrap the presents and write the cards. at 1, we were still at mac. i left for sch to give the ties to joanne. while sam sat at mac alone..aww=(( sorrie for leaving u there all alone sam..


came back after giving the ties..continued to wrap the present..den van, yingxin and caryn came....caryn help to wrap me and sam de presents! THANKS CARYN! love u! van was busy writing her card for sheryl chua..yx was helping her.....so we were all like quite busy. den finally at 2 ++pm ..we were done and headed for sch.


we went up to the gallery..saw mdm wenjia and a sec 1 guy...and also a grp of upper sec guys...from dunno wad class de larr... den the assembly got one person frm each class go up to say speech...den got one gurl played the keyboard..first love on the piano. so nice...aww.. den there was oso the video clip..dunno who made de.. but its showed the sec 4s when they were younger.. they've reallie grown man..hahas. then the teachers went up the stage to sing too..and ms chen played the keyboard. she verii pro..and caryn was like 'she din even play a wrong note!' hahas..caryn i bet u can too!


den after the assembly finished..caryn, van, yx and sam went down to foyer..while me and xx waited outside the hall..for i dunno wad...hahas.
den the sec 4s came out class by class, hugging the teachers on their way out.. and all the girls were like crying..some guys cried too.. =(( i was fine at first..until joanne came...hahas..she hugged me den i cannot take it le..somemore she was like a water tap can..see liao oso cried...so sad man.. den xx was like. dun cry liao..hahas. but emotions are uncontrollable right?? yahh..den after awhile..we decided to go downstairs to find vanessa caryn they all..den while the sec 4s took their food, we all went to give our presents!..sam went to find cheryl phua, vanessa went to find sheryl chua..i went to find who ahh?? hahas..i dunno. i tink i just stood there..not knowing wad to do..finally when they all came back..i begged vanessa to help me give my presents..dun ask me why..hahas. cause i din dare? oh..i'm such a coward..lalala.


den after van, yx and caryn left..it was left me, xx and sam..den went to find 'mdm' cheryl..gave her the stuff..heehee XD..den sam left liao...
joanne called for me to come..she wanted to return the ties...so we went to take..den went to mac with xx. stayed there for awhile and talked..den bus-ed home with him.. hmm..i tink that's all..for today...


p.s u did it..sam and van! hahas
pp.s thanks joanne for your message..and I LOVE YOU TOO!! =))

more pics of today!

















wad's edna doing??











edna COACHING qianhui!! so pro!












EDNA and QIANHUI!












our skates! =)) love them!












yf, qh and edna!!

wahh..still got so many more pics..will upload them next time..hahas. lazy me...well cya ppl tmr if u all going farewell assembly.

exams over le! hahas. but results..=(( anyway.. this few days have been verii great. the lunches out and the time spent together. thanks everyone for making this fews day so memorable for me..=))

anayway.....tuesday! wen eat lunch after papers. wen j8 with van, qh, yf, caryn and sam. ate at pastamania den went go arnd see see. as usual, we wen 4th floor go look look.. yf bought a present for her senior. so sweet. =)) den nvr take any pics. so nth to upload..


WEDNESDAY! paper ended at 9.45 am.den our ggroup split into 2. van, caryn. yingxin, sam and jiaqi they all wen vivocity. they go shop shop + makan..aiyo..hahas. but qh, yf, edna and me decided go ICE-SKATING!! was damn damn fun..took lots of pics. yf fell and injured her knee but managed to play abit after her injury. qh, after seeing wad happened to yf, din dare to reallie skate..hahas.. qh, yf, must learn! den next time we sabo guys come with us den we watch them skate!! hahas. they will look so funny on the ice! heehee..i'm so EVIL! nice teaching yf and qh. they were soooo great larr! being a teacher ish so fun! hahas.
here are the pics.










yifang and qianhui in mrt. qh wearing her sis de brownie's gloves. i seriously think we each shud get a pair. den wear RC u den can wear oso! i'm lame =))











yifang, learning to skate. she tuo edna xia shui.hahas..jkjk =))











yifang...after her mighty fall. she hurt her knee..hope u are better now..












2 chio bus! say cheese!

more pics..i'm still uploading....

yay..monday wen yoshi at j8 with sam, van and caryn! we wen kuku and spent like 10 mins just walking to the bus stop when we could reach the bus stop in abt 3 mins. all because SAM and CARYN were playing along the roadside!! =))










sam gonna 'rape' caryn!











caryn got freaked out











on the bus. sam threatened to kiss caryn!











guess who's hand is trying to touch my laopo?!











SAM'S GONNA KISS MY LAOPO!!

no more pics for that day liao..=(( my laopo! she's making me so jealous by flirting!! =((

lalala. farewell assembly in 3 days. =))

hello ppl! i noe i should'nt be blogging now since exams are coming..but even got exams, still must rest de right?? okkay..because of the amkss virus, exams have been postponed. from monday to wednesday..its not that good a thing because in between exams, there is onli a 45 min break..but if exams started on monday, there would be a longer break in between papers. coz there is one in the morning, and another in the afternoon.so i would prefer exams to be on monday..even though it means that there is less time to study..coz in between papers oso can study..=)).


and now..i'm starting to think..wad is life? why do we have to live life? why can't we just die? where would we go after we die? how do we die a painless death? why do good things always come to an end? wen we grow old, we still have to die, why not die now? why do the ppl we care for always do not appreciate our care and concern? and why do we not put ourselves in other ppl's shoes and think abt how they feel? why are humans so selfish? why are there so many things i wanna say to u but i dunno how? why do we still have such a long road to walk? why do we have to be seperated from our love ones wen we dun wan to? why are all the roads I have to walk are winding? why am i so happy to have just a look at u? why did i even get to noe u? why is it that wen it rains, i am remembered of our past together?
there are so many whys, wads, hows ..so many that i cannot finish saying all. but i just wanna tell all my friends, no matter wad..i will be there for u..i just hope we can spend our last few months together happily. i treasure each and every person that i have ever met.. and i hope u guys feel the same..

EXAMS IN 5 DAYS!! ahhh..n i'm still like stuck in the midst of studying... n i tink this exam stress is driving me nuts.. making me do things wen i'm in a right state of mind wun do (i dun need to mention it).. n i get easily irritated (PMS??)..but i'll try to control myself. i need encouragement.. if u guys r free can please just come up to me n tell me that you love me..please!! ibegu... ahhh..just at least brighten up my day..coz i just love u ppl! but i dunno if u love me too... i need lots of love to keep me going..just abit more before i die in FYE...thanks alot. love u ppl.. n those who tio the amkss illness..GET WELL SOON!!

oh..i just wanna say.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY VANESSA!!!
shu nus love u!! hope u like ur birthday presents..=)) yay 14th b'dae le..all 4 shunus also 14 le..good! hahas..hope u have had a wonderful 14th birthday..




vanessa is horny!! =))..


lots of love n MUACKS..hahas

We'll do it all
Everything
On our own


We don't need
Anything
Or anyone


If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?


I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel


Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough


If I lay here
If I just lie here
Would you lay with me and just forget the world?


Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life


Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads


I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own


If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lay with me and just forget the world?


Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life


All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes,
they're all I can see


I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all


If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lay with me and just forget the world?



my life is in a complete mess.. i guess its breakdown time again. so stress.
end of year exam is in 17 days. n i'm still unsure of wad i wan.. i need someone to show me the way. i noe i'm useless..but i dunno how to change.. i've got so many things in my head. friendship stuff, which class to go to next yr, how to deal with seperating into diff classes next yr, n my CCA. i love my CCA. i love the ppl in my CCA. but things r changing. i love the ppl in my cca but i dunno if they love me too.. ahhh. not in BGR love.. but in friendship love. love n motivation is wad keeps me going now. small small gestures will brighten up my day. just one sentence of 'i love u' will change how i'm feeling. i love my class. i love my classmates. but again.. i dunno if they love me.. i feel as if i'm a boat in the middle of a vast ocean.. with no destination and no other bigger boats to bring me to an island.. to bring me to safety. care abt how i'm doing in the middle of that vast ocean. to even make the effort to come n look for me.


anyway..i shall tell myself to brace up..work hard for the EOYs..n dun get irritated by minor things. to love even those who dun love me. to care for those who do not care for me. to continue to love all my friends and be a better person. i will try to make those around me happy..


p.s i shall tell myself to be a happier person
pp.s i shall try not to irritate ppl

ahh..i realised i long time nvr blog le.. lots of things have happened le..
for example, the North District Camp (NDC)..n the RC international bazaar..=)


NDC is leisure camp..my camp mentors r nice..but Charlie grp de nicer?? haha..my mentors are QIHUI mdm, QINGXIANG sir n DENISE mdm.. hmm, is denise mdm counted?? i dunno larr..but qihui mdm n qingxiang sir is verii nice..denise mdm like veri bored lidat...but u noe..the camp is leisure mahh..so she cant be scolding the whole time so thats why she's sian..hahas. finding reasons as to why denise mdm is so sian.. diao rite? i noe.. hahahaha. but the 1st day whole time is play games. den i was verii enthu can..u ask qianhui...i taught the grp mates our ALPHA cheer.. i sooo good hor.. haha no larr..i being bhb..=)

dinner was chao bad larr..haha. ermm. actually maybe is becoz of the rain?? spoil the whole mood. plus we are not shou ren ..we still dun reallie noe each other. hahas. den after dinner got campfire. we did the songs n our grp performance. den sabo xuanle n chee yen oso.. we so bad....den at night, shower but din wash hair...err xin horr..i noe, but the beds in the bunks more err xin.. btw the VIs nvr ever washed the bed b4.. n its reallie very dusty can.. ewwww.. but i still slept. sorrie qianhui if u din sleep well. so sorrie.. hahas =) i slept till 5.45am den my fone buzzed coz of the alarm. den woke edna, juliana n yinyin who were in the other bunk. we got ready den wen downstairs at 6.45am to report and see the flag raising.


den had PT with yongcheng sir. veri shiok..but hot. the weather damn hot den they still ask us wear trackpants. was sweating like mad can. den we finally had our breakfast at dunno wad time. mdm joan cooked our breakfast consisting of egg, bread, baked beans n sausage. sounds good hor..but........ hmm. better dun say.. ltr u all puke..hahas. poor qianhui, she took a serving of baked beans so that there wun be leftovers. n she forced down the beans with plain water. =) so wei da horr.. love ya qianhui! =)


den after breakfast we played water games. quite interesting larr.. but i was not enthu le..i was so sian even qianhui could see that..hahas. but just played through.den finally after the games we had time to change into dry clothes n do area cleaning. finish le jiu clean the bunks, toilets etc. den after the de-brief we went to eat lunch. we wen northpoint coz there was a direct bus to yishun int. i slept the whole time in the bus,,which was abt like 1 hr. juliana oso slept but yinyin n edna toked the whole way!!.. u both not tired mehh?? hahas. but felt shuang after waking up. ate at the foodcourt. food was so much nicer compared to camp..=) no offence xD. den wen home to SLEEP!!..hahas.


okkae..sorrie ppl to torture ur eyes..this is just finish of NDC ..still got bazaar.. hahas.


there was international bazzar on sunday. was reallie slack. but not for mdm xinyu, mdm kexin n mdm weilin. they had to help out at a stall selling mee siam n laksa. so kelian hor.. while the rest of us were blowing balloons.. i blow n blow n blow n i felt so sick of the balloon smell..=) felt like puking so i asked van to pei me go walk walk. we bought a coupon..den wen ard looking for food!! hahas. we shared ice cream.. soo en ai hor.. no larr.. but van dun like me =((.. sad. boohoo..xD
den slacked ard somemore... so bored i felt like sleeping. finally could go home at 6..mdm kexin felt sick.. awww..must be stand at the stall too long le..=) xinku ni le...den mdm kexin n mdm weilin went home 1st. they walked with the rest except me n mdm xinyu. we toured the place one last time coz mdm xinyu said she din reallie see the place. but in the end there was nth much so we went home. met edna they all at the mrt n wen home together. so tired man... ahhhh..end of my post!! hahas..


no! one more thing...EOY is in less den 20 days!!!!!...ahhhhh..my doomsday =)... i will die..some one save me!! getting into a anxious mood now!!...must do well or not i will be so upset... haish... okkae jiayou ppl.. dun let urself down wor..must work hard n we will move on as a class!!


p.s juliana..dun be scared of mdm xinyu..=)
pp.s happy early birthday to qianhui n vanessa n shaokwang..

EOY exams are in less than 1 month.. n my revision hasn't gone that far yet.. ahhhh i need MOTIVATION!! where's my source of motivation?


will someone be kind enough to tell me to get down to serious work?? at this rate, i tink my l1r5 for the EOY exams will be more than 15!.. n even if i crawl, i dun tink i can get into 3/4.. i should just bang my head against the wall..


today's already THURSDAY..and there's a north district camp tmr n sat, and there is an international bazzar on sunday..which means no time to study..ahhh. n i miss my friends lots.. every single one of u.. must jiayous okk..we will get into our dream class de..


p.s i dunno how to do eng portfolio.
pp.s i tink i shan't go for the bazaar on sunday.

today trng quite funn..=) more xiang yang liao..with angry mdms n scared cadets..i tink i'm bian tai :p..wad to do..today i ic..wahh ic always get 'special' treatment de ..wahahaha..anyway today mdm wenjia n sir keat leong came for trng.

we started out with footdrill..mdm weilin taught us new drill..more fun den the normal trng where we do everything the same de..den PT..supposed to run 2.4km de..den the mdms got 'special' plan worr..'abduct' our ppl wen we doing pt/running. me n edna PT ic mahh..den we both stand infront. so we din realise vivien missing. the mdms took her away!! XD

den after that we continued PT..den this time we smarter ..me stand in front lead, edna stand behind..who noes..she got took away..den gd ting i realised early..or not sure get scolded again. den they ask us go class 3/1 outside..there..we kana 'tekan'..can i call it tekan?? hmm..dunno leii..all i noe is that i couldn't breathe..=)..edna had to come down 'fetch' me..so i rest lorr..while they in pumping position doing pumping..i feel so bad leii..but mdm xinyu n mdm kexin dun let me do with them.
arghh..finally aft awhile den they let me do..budden i just got into that position den they ask us to recover..-.- so they continued with their plan..which is to scold us individually abt our appraisals..smart eh .hahas
den some ppl got it verii bad..feel so bad can't be with them wen they get scolded..hey..they still sec 1s leii.. must give them more kong jian ..=)

aiyah..i believe they will learn de..hopefully. i hope our unit can be more UNITED!! den its one for all, all for one..n we must standardise all our appraisal.. all by monday..which is reallie reasonable larr..hopefully we wun get anymore punishment concerning the appraisal..=)

n we still owe them chicken dance n half squad..=( i tink i will just die..i'd rather do pumpings.. anyway..hopefully they forget?? nahh..i'm not soo bad..going to rest now..i tink i like today ..hahas.


p.s vanessa must get well soon. =) we missed u..bleahx
pp.s there's camp on fri n sat..n bazaar on sunday..

ystd was teacher's day..n also be yourself day. reached sch early to help in the preparation..the food n deco. moved the tables and chairs and arranged the food. we so guai rite? other classes also came early. den ltr ms low came. she wore her sch attire. damn funny can..tuck in until verii toot.den socks quite high..but not high enuf! i so bad larr.. den they all ate. n we took lots of photos. with the teachers n friends. i din noe ms chin n ms low same sch de.. den mr sim n ms lesa both wore amk uniform. they were forced to stand together n pose for a photo. so sad..


some of the teacher's who wore their uniform actually looked good in itt..haha=). den qh julian they all started playing uno stacko n monopoly. n den, our 'dear' mdms kexin n xinyee..come our class n started putting flour on our face..verii funny hor..den me n sam cant take it we filled our bottles n wen up to 3/5 ..den stoopid mdm weilin ahh..she threw flour into my mouth..=p n sam took her bottle and squirted the water into mdm weilins shirt..wahh..she quite kelian larr..den xinyee n kexin din dare to come out. they held brooms n dustpan wanna shoo us away..but we din go in their class. we good rite? haha lol.


den i saw the sec 4s. all nvr wear their clothes de..all in sch uniform..n i saw rabbit. =) kinda happy. i also dunno y. dun ask me. den aft e party ended, we packed up the place n started doing drills. it was quite a sight larr.. ks, jm, zh, ds, sam, edna, van, yx, qh, yf, me, dewi n dunno still got who..we fall in in our class room..den ks gave us command..funny sia. den didi n zh took broom n dustpan to pretend as the sword and pacestick. stupid larr.. but quite funny. den ks give us alot of command den march us around the class until weijie n dunno which other sir happen to walk by, n they stared at us, he say we not high enough den cannot give command. we stopped for awhile, waited for him n the other guy to go before we continued. i tink we r seriously bad. den after we got tired of playing drills, we sat down n played truth or dare n zjmm. play untill abt 12++ b4 we left for causeway point. ate at swensens b4 procceding to the shops in causeway pt. we shopped for clothes. we even looked at bras. haha..it was funny larr..we wen into err..john little isit? i dunno ..den we go n smell the perfumes n the deoderant den we wen towards the bra section. the pierre cardin ones were nice. esp the pink n green de..=) everybody liked it..but cost 30 bucks. although its considered cheap for a branded bra, but i tink not worth it. =) den after seeing enuf of bras n underwear, we went to the library. went to the 3rd floor n found a nice spot. we sat there n talked. i like the library .hahas. we talked n talked until a librarian came n told us the library is for reading.. wanna tok den go to cafe. so we left ..wen downstairs but decided it was late. den me n edna decided to buy a jacket which cost $15. quuite nice n mummy let me buy. so bought the jacket den me qh n yf wen to take the train while edna van n sam go to dunno where. haha.

spent another wonderful day with my beloved friends.. love u ppl.. we shall go out again another day okk?? =)..

p.s nobody tags my blog..except sam..
pp.s please tag more =)